Infomercials in Heaven

Despite my mom's warning for my own safety, I have gone ahead and posted some of the gems I came up with immediately after hearing about the death of Billy Mays. My only hope, that God doesn't owe Billy a favor or else I'll be smite-ed.

Joke the first: Billy Mays died today. According to Al-Jazeera the Sham-Wow guy is claiming responsibility.

#2: Are your angel wings grey and dusty? Now you can get them as white as the light at the end of the tunnel with Oxi-clean!

#3: Everyone is going nuts over those delicious mini burgers. From Elvis to Ghandi, everyone agrees that they are heavenly. Now you can prepare them quickly and easily with the Big City Slider maker. They're so tasty you'll think you were on cloud 9 with Farrah Fawcett.

#4: Death of a Salesman, starring Billy Mays

#5: (less of a joke and more of a skit) Billy Mays doing "high end" infomercials in heaven. All I have so far is Ed McMahon voice over "Heeeeeere's Billy!" and Billy Mays asking the rhetorical question, "I think this may be the best product ever", while Ed replies "Hii-oooh! You are correct, sir."