Seattle Duck Tour

Sunday was to be our last full day in Seattle, Mike and I both were flying out on Monday. He back to his job in New York and me... well back to California to sleep in and watch re-runs on TV (Spin City = excellent).

We decided that we were going to go on the Duck Tour that we had seen out and about in the heart of Seattle. Quick Note: The Duck Tour is not a tour to chase down ducks (that's what Shoreline Lake is for). Instead it is a tour of Seattle by land and sea using amphibious vehicles from the World War II collection to transport tourists around the city's streets and through Lake Union.

From Matt's apartment we walked to the city center building and took Seattle's monorail to the Space Needle/EMP area (the monorail only has those 2 stops) and walked the 400 feet or so to get our Duck Tour tickets. After a short wait we were ready to board our vessel, Duck B. Before climbing in we had to stop and get our picture taken for the token overpriced, seriously does anyone ever actually buy these, photo. They gave us a life preserver as a prop, which I instinctively stuck my head through (like Gilligan), the camera snapped the photo and we got in our Duck.

Our captain was a nice guy, Captain Barney Cole. It's just about a week later and I still remember his name for no good reason. Anyway, it quickly became clear from his abundance of hats and the pre-selected driving music that this was one of those gimmicky, sing a-long type tours. It's sad because thinking about my personality I should love these things and be screaming at the top of my lungs all the time. But sadly, for whatever reason, I go hot and cold with them. During this one I was cold - no participation.

One thing I will say, as cliche, gimmicky, dorky or whatever you want to call it, the people of Seattle go ape shit for these things. Every intersection we got to, in the heart of Seattle, in the historic district, on the outskirts - cars were honking, people were waving and everyone was smiling. It's like we were the ice cream man. I thought that was really cool.

So the tour, we started out driving around seeing downtown Seattle. Then we headed to the waterfront where we saw the hotel that the Beatles stayed at while in town. Wish I could remember the name, but anyway Barney told us all of the extra security and preparations that the city had to do for the Fab 4s arrival. I'm not gonna lie to you, those guys may have been bigger than Jesus. Think about it, he only had 12 guys following him around wherever he went, I think even Ringo on his own had more than that.

While in the historic district, Pioneer Square (which is shaped like a triangle), we learned about the "big" fire that whipped out Seattle and the subsequent re-building which lead to the creation of an entire underground city (separate tour). I loved how they called it a big fire though. Sure, it took out Seattle but at the time Seattle wasn't all that big. The fire in Chicago, now that was a big f'in fire. The one in Seattle may not have been bigger than the one that burned down my house. Who knows though, maybe that's just more east coast bias.

After ducking around the city we headed out to Lake Union, named because it was created to connect two other bodies of water... body of water A and body of water B (sorry I wasn't paying attention at that point). As we were on the water we got to see seaplanes land, kayakers, sunbathers, leisure sailors and guys just out there playing with their dingy (Tommy Boy). But all of these people too, kept waving and smiling as the duck passed - the just love those things in Seattle. Anyway, we saw the floating home that was used (exterior only) in Sleepless in Seattle and learned that because of the drastic economic situation we are in, it had to be taken off the market after no one was willing to purchase it for $2.5 million. Rough life.

We learned more fun facts, like that the city has a cap on the number of floating homes that can be in the lake. That limit was reached before the something something club (again not paying full attention to the tour - in my defense I was probably checking out girls on a boat somewhere) could build theirs so they came up with an ingenious plan. They built their club house as they intended, but instead of putting it right up on land they put it out a few feet and attached a crapload of motors to the back to get it classified as a boat (which there are no limits on). Every year they need to take it around the lake once to prove to the Coast Guard that it's a boat, not a physical structure and according to Barney it takes about 12 hours to motor that thing around the lake. This lead to 2 thoughts of mine: 1) I bet the Coast Guard hates that day having to sit around and watch it, while on the other hand I'm sure tons of people line the shores or get on their own boats and turn the event into an all day drinking celebration. and 2) the club probably only fits in the same area that it occupied, so when they take it out, why not just park your something there and then sell them back the space? Maybe that's just too much of a dick move but hey, it'd get you paid.

Anyway after that we headed back to our starting point, got stuck in traffic with YMCA blaring, and I actually thought people were going to get out of their cars and dance along with us. They didn't but it would have been classic. That was supposed to be our final song but thanks the traffic we were still someways from our final destination. Fortunately, Captain Barney had 1 last trick up his sleeve - the Time Warp. Now there wasn't any room in the Duck but I'd like to think that if there was a good number of us (myself included) would have jumped to the left.

Finally the duck landed and we unloaded. Our next stop, one of the casinos just outside of Seattle. I wont write anything about that other than rather than being a lady, she was a
young chick, she so immature
She like, "Why you don't buy me Reeboks no more?"
Like to show out in public, throw tantrums on the floor
Gotta toss a couple dollars, just to shut up her holla

I suppose it's all well and good, just means that lady luck will meet me in Vegas in July.