Shout-Out to the Newlyweds

Last week I flew back to New York to attend the wedding of my friend's Scott and Kristen. First off, let me just say that "friends" is misleading - I love those guys and couldn't be happier for them. Alright, enough sentimental stuff for now, let's recap the event (or at least the important parts from my perspective).

After some c0-mingling with friends we were shown into the rainforest room where the ceremony was to take place. Took our seats and away we go. I served as official personal photographer to my friend Lauren, a bridesmaid who wanted new facebook profile pictures. After a few minutes the families started entering, and away we go. I did my best to get pictures of the bridesmaids as they entered but had made an early error by sitting stage left (the side the groomsmen would be on as they escorted the lovely ladies down the aisle), so they weren't my best work. Bride meet
groom, this nice gentleman here will be marrying you, now each of you repeat what he says, whe he looks at you like you're supposed to say something, say "I do" and we're done. No nonsense ceremony, very nice, not dragging and nothing to complain about.

Cocktail hour is on and let's find the bar. Ask the bartender the most important question - "Do you have Mountain Dew on the gun?". They didn't, so it was going to be a Sprite night. First drink was well vodka and spirte, or as it should be called, a mistake. Fortunately it was learned afterwards that had we just asked Steve (I learn bartender's names very early) he would give us Kettle One. That was put to good use the rest of the night. More mingling and talking, congratulating the families and we're starting to get into the party mood.

Shuffling us off to the main hall now to take our seats and time for me to speed this up and hit the highlights. Take seats, order dinner, await wedding party's entrance. My friend Jason tries to convince one of the bridesmaids (perhaps the whitest of them all) to do the soulja boy dance with him when they enter. She declines, he does it anyway (that's why we're friends). Bride and Groom aren't at the end of the procession. Where are they? Oh, popping out of a chapel that rises from the stage - AWESOME! I've got to get one of those for my wedding... uhhh.

DJ plays some questionable floor clearers throughout the night and I'm starting to get worried that dancing will not occur. Just started on drink #4 or 5 and am just hoping to get 1 song I like. Then, I hear it. The begining of "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire. Grab my friend Michelle's sister Amy's hand we're out there.

Lowlight - during the conga line we passed the bar and I jumped off to get another Kettle and Sprite. Rejoin the party on the dance floor to limbo, Hermes Conrad style. Get under the first time no problem. Second time, little difficulty getting down, so I pause and take another sip. I'm under the bar hopping through when I slip and start going down. Safety first I keep my head up to avoid smashing it and possibly getting a concussion, but my drink is not so lucky. Glass shatters on the dance floor and I'm lying in vodka, sprite and ice. Awesome. I got up and immediately apologized profusely to Scott and Kristen. They shook it off and I went back to see Steve for a refill to sulk into.

Alright, called out to the dance floor for the garter toss. Boquet was caught by the maid of honor, Tori. I'm standing next to her boyfriend A.J. (or as I call him - the Phenominal One, long story but beer pong related) who informs me that Scott intends to throw the gartner directly at him, and asks for my help. No problem, that's what I do - help people. Scott turns and fires, and I casual take a step forward, reach out and snag the garter in the air, pivot and strut off a la saturday night fever. I'm just about at my table to get my drink when I hear them calling me back. This is the part I did not know. He who catches the garter, must apply it to she who caught the boquet. Ah, so helping out A.J. has now deteroirated into feeling up his girlfriend. Interesting turn of events. Well I know I'm going to keep it pretty PG, but the crowd wants a show. Fortunately, I've got prop sunglasses (that they gave out earlier, no I don't go to weddings with my own props. I'm not Carrot Top. I'm funny) to help make this more believeable. So I keep it tasteful, yet entertaining. Someone posted a video on Facebook but I don't feel like copying it to repost it here.

Hit another lul as me and my friends are back at our table, drinking, and waiting for a song to dance to. Waiting. Amy says that if we wait for the perfect song we'll never get out there. Works everytime. Hit it - "Billie Jean". I don't know if anyone was headed to the dance floor or not, but I beat everyone out there and busted my 78% moonwalk across the floor and into the spin. A few fantastic moves later and the floor is filled. A few more moves and my friends have all gathered around me as I'm showing off the moves. Great song, great time. Couple more great songs to dance to, ending with "Don't Stop Believin'".

Anyway, I'm not sure I'm going with any of this. Just really wanted to mention what a great night it was, for myself but more importantly for my friends, the bride and groom. I wish you guys nothing but the best because I believe you're the best match for each other.

Salud.