Maybe I'm not so okay with this

Yesterday I called Mike to remind him that he's getting married in exactly a week. It wasn't really a congratulations call, just a reminder really.

Since then I've been dealing with something I can only make up a fake psychological name for, known as "Sidekick Syndrome". For all of our years together I've always sort of thought of myself as being just a smidge ahead, being the leader. Not that it really mattered but that's how I viewed it. Now I'm overcome realizing that I'm the Randall to Mike's Dante. I went back and watched Randall's speech to Dante while they are in jail at the end of Clerks II and I realized I feel a bit of the same way. I know that him getting married doesn't mean that we won't be friends anymore, but I'm smart enough to realize that it's going to change things... and I don't want that to happen.

It's been 20 years of me and Mike. Trying to list all of the shit that we've gone through together would be easier if St. Peter came down with the file of my life and we just pulled out the few pages that didn't involve Mike. Now things are on the verge of a monumental change. Even after I moved to California things didn't change that much. We saw each other less, but our number of pointless text messages probably skyrocketed. Whenever I came home for a visit he was still just five houses away. Now he's moving to Albany so when I'm home, he won't be, for the first time.

I'm slowly realizing that the friend I've pretty much been able to take for granted, won't be around like he used to be. I know it's selfish, but I'm a bit confused about how life is going to go when it's not me and Mike anymore.

The first time I watched Clerks II was the first time I thought of this song symbolizing me and Mike. I won't even bother trying to explain it because I'm fairly certain that I can't. I just remember watching the ending of the movie and thinking what Randall said was right. Anything and everything is better when you're with your best friend.