How I got into school

One of the assignments I had to complete as part of my Miami Ad School application was to write a 250 word article for The Onion. Here's what I came up with. I added the image solely for the blog to liven things up.




Drug Cartels introduce “New Coke”

Bogotá, Columbia – Manuel Escobar Rodriguez, a spokesman for the Columbian Drug Cartels, announced in a press conference today that the Cartels plan on introducing “New Coke” in response to the negative growth the cocaine market experienced in Q4 2008. “We are really excited about the launch of ‘New Coke’” Rodriguez exclaimed at the conference. “We recognize that consumers no longer have the disposable income that allowed them to enjoy our product. So, as our customers have changed, we have had to change.” In their Q4 earnings call, the Cartels cited the collapse of several American Investment Banks as cause for the decrease in demand.
Rodriguez hopes that ‘New Coke’ will re-energize the Investment Banker segment, which the Cartels rely on for a significant portion of their sales. “We believe that ‘New Coke’ provides users with all the things they love about cocaine, but at a price that is more affordable in today’s economic conditions. We are confident that this new offering will help us to emerge from the current macroeconomic crisis stronger, and we look forward to being able to introduce ‘Classic Coke’ when conditions allow it.”
‘New Coke’ is estimated to sell for $30 a gram, and has been described as sweeter and less filling then the original version.