Fantasy Football Offseason Recap and Week 1 Preview

Every year during Fantasy Football season I write a weekly column for all of the participants in my league. It's only been available to members of the league - until now. Each week I'll post the same column that goes on the league page here, so that you can experience the analysis, laughter and tomfoolery.

Ah yes here we are getting ready for our first Sunday of another incredible Fantasy Football season. The names have all changed (with the exceptions of AnyGivenSunday, Wide Right and the Wandering Jews) and so has the place - we're coming at you from ESPN.com thanks to a misunderstanding of the phrase "last year's settings" on the part of Yahoo. So ESPN is auditioning this season to be the league's permanent home, but that's just a side story to the biggest news this offseason...

People just upped and got married.

Defending league champion, Mike Silver (Dogs and Guns) most notably tied the knot in August and then relocated to northern New York. Will the wife and lack of a stable electrical current prevent him from repeating? Will a new challenger emerge from the ranks to lay claim to the league title? Or, will the crown fall on the familiar head of, well me.

In NFL news Michael Vick is out of jail. Plaxico Burress and Donte Stallworth are both in jail. Tom Brady's knee is healthy again and Brett Favre is still playing - this time with the Vikings. There are new coaches and new coordinators, who dictate the game plans. Aging veterans and emerging young players who are fighting for playing time. And of course, the crapshoot gamble that is trying to predict the contributions of the rookie class. Well, except for Michael Crabtree, it's pretty easy to predict how useful he'll be this season.

The Steelers and Titans got the season officially underway on Thursday night, so most of the games are already in progress. We'll start however, with the 2 games that have yet to begin.

Vicks Vet Service vs. LT Get Outta My Way

In a big time move on Saturday night, Vicks Vet Service (VVS) claimed the Chicago Bears defense and special teams to pair with the Baltimore Ravens unit that they acquired in the draft. VVS is lead by Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo and a backfield of cold, refreshing MJD-light and former Giants running back Derrick Ward. Chronically underrated Falcons WR Roddy White is captain of the receiver corps that includes Vincent Jackson and Devin Hester. Returning to Brandon's squad from last year is TE Dallas Clark, Peyton Manning's favorite receiver. High priced free agent Albert Haynesworth is anchoring the defense and looking to show that his fantasy value is as high as his paycheck. Jason Elam will be doing the kicking duties, and I promise here and now not to analyze kickers at any point throughout the season.

Still, Vicks finds itself as 3 point underdogs against the currently un-managed LT Get Outta My Way (LTMY). Super Bowl QB Kurt Warner leads this squad with injury risks Brian Westbrook and Frank Gore as the primary running backs. Having both guys on the same team could be feast or famine depending on their ability to stay healthy. Especially since each team (the Eagles and 49ers) have young backups who have electrified their fan bases. The receivers are solid 1-3 with Greg Jennings, Antonio Bryant and Braylon Edwards as a #3. Breakout candidate Owen Daniels is the starting TE and the Dallas Cowboys defense and special teams help to round out the starting roster with kicker Gostowski.

The New Good Ones vs. NY DAs Office

Projections have this as a walkover for The New Good Ones (NGO) and coach Johnny G. Then again, if projections were enough the Patriots would have gone 19-0 as opposed to 18-1. Still, no one can deny that the New Good Ones have a formidable lineup. Quarterback Philip Rivers is a jackass in real life, but puts up fantasy numbers that will make most people over look that. The Matt Forte and Thomas Jones backfield could rank as one of the best in the league, but with Leon Washington's younger legs and big breakout runs, will Jones end the season as the #1 back in the Meadowlands? It's an interesting question, but it may be moot when your receivers are Reggie Wayne, Anquan "seriously check out my numbers compared to Fitzgerald's" Boldin and DeSean "People still don't remember that fumble on the 1 yard line, do they?" Jackson. TE Visanthe Shiancoe quietly put up 7 TDs last year and now has TE friendly Brett Favre as his QB. To make matters worse for opponents, NGO doesn't let up on the defensive side, with the Vikings defense and special teams. Kicker Mason Crosby is also on the team.

The NY DAs Office will attempt the upset, and who better than Peyton Manning as your QB to make it happen. Well, probably Tom Brady but that's about it. Anyway, the running game features Big Blue's Bruiser, Brandon Jacobs as well as the Colt's Joseph "Live and Let" Addai, who fell late in the draft on concerns of injuries. The receivers are a notable weak point for the DAs Office, lead by Donnie Avery. Veteran Tory Holt is out to prove that he has something left in the tank with his new team, the Jacksonville Jaguars as is former Jet Laveraneus Coles. TE Jason Witten may be this teams best receiver (statistically) by the end of the year. The NYDA is bringing the formidable Giants defense and special teams with them, hoping that they can convert NFL dominance into fantasy points.

Wandering Jews vs. Any Given Sunday

The Wandering Jews (WJs) currently have a 5 point advantage thanks to kicker "dunna nunna nuh nuh" Rob Bi Ronas! QB Donovan McNabb may wind up splitting snaps with Michael Vick by the end of the year, but for now is a legitimate fantasy starter. The 1-2 punch of RBs DeAngelo Williams and LaDanian Tomlinson, now to be known as "DeLa", have combined 40 touchdown potential. Will they stay healthy? Will Stewart and Sproles take away scores? Will I find a way to nickname another player "Soul" and create the best nickname combination in football? The WRs aren't shabby either with Marques Colston, coming off of an injury filled and less than productive season, with current malcontent Brandon Marshall. TE Greg Olsen is another breakout candidate this season and could put this team over the top. The Eagles defense is likely to put up points all season long with their blitzing style, but potentially could give up a few big scoring plays.

AnyGivenSunday got her man this season. Rather than make a comment about gay bartenders or guys who wear mascara, lets move on. RB Adrian Peterson provides the complimentary running game to QB Aaron Rodgers. Marion Barber will fill out the backfield, provided he stays healthy and can fend off Felix Jones to get the majority of the Cowboys carries. Super speed receivers Steve Smith and Santana Moss provide deep threats, although only one of them can consistently catch the ball. Anthony Gonzalez should play a big role as a possession receiver in the Colts offense, much the same way that Brandon Stokely used to. Sunday snatched up top TE pick Antonio Gates who, now healthy, should be able to make up for the occasionally frequent Moss drop. The Seahawks defense is a matchup play, one would assume, but we'll have to wait and see how Sunday plays it this season.

Mr. Scott's F**k Ups vs. The Breakfast Club

League newcomer Scott did us all a favor, by agreeing to help fill out the league. Then he did us another favor by selected Randy Moss first overall in the draft. Or was it a favor? With Tom Brady back is Moss primed for 30 TDs this season? QB Eli Manning, RBs Ahmad Bradshaw and Reggie Bush weren't high on most people's fantasy lists but could wind up being productive contributors. While the odds are that at best only 1 of the 3 will, the F**k Ups will likely need to adjust their roster over the coming season. TE Chris Cooley was a great sleeper pickup for the team. The Patriots defense is unproven, however for the most part they'll be playing against weak offenses. Unless of course Ronnie Brown decides to score 5 TDs again.

The Breakfast Club (TBC) currently leads 16.5 to 2, thanks to now injured (via the Madden Curse) Tory Polamalu. TBC landed fantasy football scoring stud Drew Brees as their QB and from that moment on had a leg up on just about all other teams. The running game of Kevin Smith and Julius Jones has high upside but going into the first game remains a question mark. Superstar WR Andre Johnson is good enough to be a 1 man receiver corps but if Chad Ochocinco can return to form, the team will surely take off up the standings. TE Tony Gonzalez is getting older and adjusting to a new system, but is still one of the games best. If the running game can get it's legs under it this offense because one of the most potent in the league - barring an injury to Brees. The Arizona Cardinals defense was less than super during the regular season, but put it together during their Super Bowl run. Which is the one that The Breakfast Club drafted?

Wide Right vs. Giant Ten Pins

Wide Right hasn't started playing yet, but start Sunday with the second largest deficit, down 21 to 0. Wide Right is putting their faith in Tom Brady again and hoping to get more than 5 minutes out of him this season. RBs Steve Slaton and Felix Jones are versatile threats. If Jones can take carries away from Marion the Barbarian he becomes a great fantasy compliment. WR Dwayne Bowe will now be catching passes from Brady's former backup, Matt Cassell. How's that for your Kennedy/Lincoln coincidence? Buffalo favorite Lee Evans will face more single coverage this season thanks to the acquisition of T.O. and rookie Percy Harvin could develop into big time contributors throughout the season. TE Kellen Winslow is hoping to resurrect his career in Tampa Bay and the Chargers defense and special teams are hoping to do the same after a major drop off last season. Kicker Adam Vinatieri is clutch when the game is on the line, but that rarely happens in fantasy football.

The Giant Ten Pins are staked to a 21 point lead thanks to a trio of Steelers (Hines Ward, LaMarr Woodley and the defensive unit). After a phenomenal rookie campaign, QB Matt Ryan leads this team into the season. His real life backfield backup, Michael Turner is also along for the ride, partnered with Clinton Portis. These two have a lot mileage on them after last season, so durability will be key. As far as the air attach goes, Eddie Royal and Donald Driver flank Ward as the other receivers, and Dustin Keller is looking to develop rapport with new Jets QB Mark Sanchez and build on a successful rookie season. Kick John Carney is sure to get plenty of opportunities thanks to the Saints high powered offense.

Week 1 Game of the Week
Last year's champion starts his title defense against the wining-est team in league history

Beer, Burgers and Blue vs. Dogs and Guns

Beer, Burgers and Blue (BBB) hasn't gotten out of the starting gates yet, and they find themselves in a massive 22 point hole. BBB has a lot riding on QB Matt Schaub who is a constant injury risk, despite being some analysts picks as a Top 10 Fantasy QB this season. After declaring last year "Steven Jackson will never be on my fantasy team again", Steven Jackson is the #1 running back on this year's squad. He was supposed to paired with this years Mr. Big Things Expected, Pierre Thomas, but Thomas will be missing week 1 with an MCL injury. Stepping in to replace him is Rutgers legend Ray Rice. Given BBBs history with Rutgers graduates though, this should work out well. The aerial assault of Megatron (a.k.a. Calvin Johnson), the Great White Hope (Wes Welker) and former Bear Bernard Berrian (see how I made that BBB - clever no?) can do it all. Of course with Welker and Berrian listed as questionable, the success of the team this week is listed in the same category. TE Zach Miller is probably the best Raider you could have on your roster and may get some name recognition this season. The Jets defense is revamped has a Ryan in charge of it and provides a solid return game with Leon Washington. Kicker Neil Rackers can put up points from 50 yards out, and could be a solid acquisition.

Dogs and Guns (D&Gs) got 22 on Thursday from the Titans defense, James Harrison and RB Chris Johnson putting them in a favorable position. Last year's championship came thanks to the consistently high scoring Drew Brees, and this year D&Gs has another strong armed QB in Jay Cutler. The other running back in the system is Ronnie Brown, who is sure to run, catch and pass at various points this season to rack up plenty of points. While Brown doesn't provide a sense of reliability that championships are built on, the receivers are excellent, with Super Bowl standout Larry Fitzgerald and the fresh out of Cincinattica, T.J. Houshmanzadeh (having him on my team last year I got the spelling down pat). TE John Carlson is expected to do big things this season and provides another level of depth to the champions roster. Kicker John Kasay is consistently one of the most accurate kickers in the NFL giving the champion something to rely on for steady production throughout the season.