OchoTO: Week 3

After missing all of week 1 due to living in a country whose version of football involves guys actually using their feet to maneuver the ball and spending week 2 jet lagged (yet well fed) on the couch, I'm ready to start a new season of commentary.

Will AnyGivenSunday successfully defend her crown? Could I hate having to write that sentence any more? Will the 5 roster moves per week affect any teams strategy? With a few new players in the league this year, will the title go to a relative rookie? And how thankful are Matt and I to no longer have to wake up early on a Sunday to watch football? All of these questions, and more will be answered as Fantasy Football 2010 unfolds.

We'll start this week's match-ups the way we always do, from the bottom up.

Weinenators (0-2) vs. AnyGivenSunday (1-1)

New to the league, Weinenators are experiencing some early season growing pains. They've got a lot invested in the Sanchize as their starting QB and so far he hasn't been able to get them a win. Possession receivers Steve Smith (Giants) and Hines Ward are solid picks in a PPR league, although without Ben Rapelisberger, Ward has seen his value take a bit of a hit. And Dallas WR Roy Williams continues to be a non factor thanks to his well publicized lack of a work ethic and the also well documented white bro love between Tony Romo and Jason Witten. Miles Austin is milano, so it's okay to throw to him. In the running game Michael Turner is a top 10 back when he's healthy, but last week pulled a groin and watched 3rd stringer Jason Snelling dominate. Turner is back, but we all know a groin injury lingers, so expect the Falcons to split the load between their two able backs. Beanie Wells looks to make his season debut and if Dallas starts to run the ball Marion the Barbarian becomes a good flex option. It's only week 3 so we'll see if they can get their act together.
The defending champion-ess is currently 1-1 and coming off a significant loss. Her majesty's team is lead by QB Aaron Rodgers who will be playing the "ace in the hole" role this week, as the Packers play on Monday Night. The rest of the offense is pass heavy with receivers Chad Ochocino, Minnesota's Percy Harvin and Robert Meachem of the Saints. The Jets Jerricho Cotchery is currently in the flex. I'll be honest, this is a definite weak spot of the team. Meachem is on the field for less than half of the Saints plays, and is somewhere between Drew Brees' 4th and 17th option, with a the tackle eligible ahead of him. Ochocinco is averaging over 100 yards receiving per game so far, but I don't expect that to last. And since it's week 3 we are due for a T.O. public rant on not getting the ball enough. As for Harvin, he may be decent as a flex since Sidney Rice is out, Bernard Berrian sucks and the Vikes couldn't get a deal done for Vincent Jackson. But as a #2 guy, danger for the defending champ. The backs are decent, Cedric Benson puts up numbers despite the lack of buzz, and despite proclaiming him "fantasy dead" last season, LaDanian Tomlinson is proving there is some life left in his legs (ex: the over the pile dive against the Pats last week). This one may be a close one after Sunday but I expect Rodgers to put AnyGivenSunday over the top Monday Night.

Where's my D-fense? (0-2) vs. The Battery Lasted (0-2)

Where's my D finds itself, for the first time, starting a season 0 and 2, and it hasn't been pretty. Having been blown out in the first two games, the veteran owner has made 4 of his allotted 5 moves this week in hopes of turning the Titanic around. Lack of production from key personnel (i.e. Joe Flacco, Jonathan Stewart, Dwayne Bowe and Jerome Harrison) has lead to this once mighty competitor digging around in the waiver dumps. But it's only week 3 and a win this week could propel the team on a streak of some sort. Shane Flacco returns this week to prove that despite a poor showing in the Sugar Bowl, he can lead his Washington Sentinels team to victory (enough Replacements references for ya?). WRs Randy Moss and Greg Jennings are solid and if Bowe can become worthy of his preseason hype this could be a great corps. In the backfield Matt Forte continues his charge for comeback player of the year honors, while Jonathan Steward has been escorted to the bench. Seattle RB Justin Forsett will take his place while last week's running hero Jason Snelling will take over flex duties. Kicker Stephen Grostowski is gone after failing to hit anything more than an extra point in 2 games and TE Heath Miller has been put on notice he's no longer protected. Can these moves translate to a win, or will week 4 be back to the drawing board?
A belated congratulations to proud parent The Battery Lasted who would love to show the little one a win in week three so that he can grow up to respect daddy. It all starts with QB Peyton Manning whos season has begun just like it does every year - lighting up opponents both in the NFL and in Fantasy Football. The receivers are also off to a good start as personal favorite Anquan Boldin is now the #1 option in the Raven's passing game, and should benefit if Flacco can manage to throw the ball to guys on his own team. Eddie Royal is the top guy in Denver now thanks to them shipping Brandon Marshall to Miami and with Moreno hurt it could mean more throws for Kyle Orton...and somehow this is a good thing. At running back Brandon Jackson benefits from the injury to Ryan Grant and given his skill set, has the potential to be the high scoring back that Grant was expected to be going into the season. Donald Brown is still stuck behind Joseph Addai on the Colts depth chart due to issues with pass protection, but if he can manage to block and get on the field for a few series, he has upside potential. The Chiefs defense will face niners QB Alex Smith this week, which may lead to a welcomed surprise of more points compliments of a few INTs. One thing about this game for sure though, both teams really need a win.


Wide Right (1-1) vs. Dingleberry Sanders (1-1)

After 2 weeks Wide Right is hanging in there and seems to have given up being a homer and realizing that WR Lee Evans is not good. The team does have Drew Brees at quarterback, and Wide Right has to be encouraged by a 1-1 start without Brees being at his best yet early in the season. This week's receiver lineup features Larry Fitzgerald who has seen his value crushed by Derek Anderson. An illegally obtained call record shows that Fitzgerald has made over 37 calls to Kurt Warner's home over the past 2 weeks, presumably not to ask how the family is doing. Michael Crabtree has a lot of potential, however none of it was on display last week against the Saints as Josh Morgan seemed to get the majority of the targets. Raiders WR Louis Murphy was a late week pickup, presumably after Matthew Berry's Love/Hate column was posted. RB Knowshon Moreno is out, so Wide Right will have to correct that before tomorrow's kick off, or else Darren McFadden is on his own. The Viking's defense should play an important role this weekend as they were run on, thoroughly, by Miami this week and now face Jahvid Best of the Lions.
On the other side of the ball is the hard luck 1-1 Dingleberry Sanders. The scary part about this team is that it really is capable of putting up 120-140 points per week. QB Eli Manning has weapons at receiver and the Giants no longer seem to be a run first team. Despite being marked as a guy to avoid in the preseason, WR Brandon Marshall is putting up decent numbers in Miami's offense, even with Chad Henne at quarterback. And what can you say about Wes Welker? The Great White Hope has returned for last season's knee injury (which honestly had me concerned) to pick up where he has left off - catching a ton of pass, scoring TDs and perhaps most importantly, dating her. He really is my hero. Runningbacks MJD and Steven Jackson are the perfect for duo for this league format which rewards backs who are threats in the passing game as well. Throw in a point per reception and both of these guys are 10 point minimums each week. Granted Arian Foster won't always have a week like he did against the Colts, but he's part of a very good offense and gives this team a 4th or 5th consistent 10 point per week player (not counting the QB). This team is scary good.

You Punt! (1-1) vs. The I.F.F. (2-0)

Defiant You Punt! looks to hand the International Frenchperson's Federation it's first loss of the season. Philly's favorite son (for the week) Michael Vick looks to run and throw all over against the Jaguars this week to show he is a legitimate fantasy threat. Top real life WR DeSean "Still no one has forgotten how I spiked the ball at the 1" Jackson joins him on the team to combine for a synergy bonus (not as much as in previous years however, when QB completions were point awarded). Previously mentioned for their own reasons, Miles Austin and Terrible Owens round out the passing attack. The rushing yards will look to come from flex play San Diego's Mike Tolbert who will be replacing Ryan Matthews this week, time share back Ricky Williams of the Dolphins and the often banged up Clinton Portis. As well of course as from Vick since I still don't believe he's that good of a passer. TE Vernon Davis continues to be an awesome freak of nature who I wish I could trade bodies with, and not just because unlike Jaguars QB David Garrard and myself he doesn't suffer from a sucky gastrointestinal disorder. Anyway, Davis is both a constant red zone target and security blanket for his team's quarterback Alex Smith, who in his 6th year is trying to prove he's still better than Jamarcus Russell, David Carr, Ryan Leaf and all of the other greats.
Currently sitting in 1st place, with an impressive victory over Dingleberry in week 2 is newcomer the I.F.F. I have no idea what that stands for, and don't care as I've already decide to create a new meaning for it each week. Now how did a federation of stinky frenchmen make it to the top of the standings? Easy - Chris Johnson is good (no shit) and Jay Cutler is currently playing like a quarterback not named Jay Cutler. Can he sustain it? For the sake of my money league team, I hope so. Johnson was slowed down last week by the Steelers and that really means nothing because that's a tough defense. Also, they got behind early causing Vince Young to throw the ball and as usually happens, results in Kerry Collins entering the game. But back to Frenchy over here. The Philidelphia duo of WR Jeremy Maclin and LeSean McCoy should also be given credit for the teams success as they have already combined for 6 TDs. Throw in another 3 from TE Antonio Gates and you can see that this team likes the endzone as much as I like a red-head in tight black leather (Scarlett Johanssen in Iron Man 2, available on DVD and Blu-Ray Tuesday, September 28th. My mom's birthday. Happy Birthday Mom.) The team is good all around and with the Ravens defense as their anchor, they are built for the long haul.


Greenzone (1-1) vs. NomNomNom (2-0)

Ah, the yearly cousins battle. The Greenzone, currently at 1-1 looks to knock his younger cousin from the ranks of the unbeatens this week. At his disposal QB Philip Rivers, who I heard has yet to start complaining this season and a group of talented, yet nicked up receivers. Marques Colston of the Saints is healthy but Pierre Garcon (remember he's from Haiti) and Steve Breaston are not. Breaston another Cardinal hurt by the fact that Kurt Warner retired and helped by the trading of Matt Leinart to a modeling agency for a 3-D TV and a blu-ray player. Running back Frank Gore has put the team on his back, much like in real life, and is showing that he is a top 5 (or better) fantasy back. DeAngelo Williams of Carolina should be a good compliment but is struggling along with the rest of his team. Is this the week he gets things together, does something productive and becomes the MVP of this Family Feud? Cardinals RB Tim Hightower is listed at the flex and if Beanie Wells is out again he is capable of a good game against the Raiders. The ace in the whole for the Greenzone will be the Packers defense, who play on Monday night while all of NomNomNom is comfortably in a food coma.
This season NomNomNom is coming at you from the Central Time Zone! No more 10am kick-off times for this guy, no no. A trio of talented receivers is what this team brings to the table - Steve Smith (Panthers), Andre Johnson and Calvin Johnson - three guys capable of big games every week. Unfortunately, two of them are operating without a net or a competent quarterback as Smith will be breaking in rookie QB Jimmy Clausen and Megatron has lost the emerging Matthew Stafford. Andre Johnson however remains the best receiver in the game and since he's not on my team this year, his QB, Matt Schaub will remain healthy. In the backfield are Jahvid Best and Ahmad Bradshaw, two of only a very few starting runningbacks who don't have to worry about the team's #2 back. Yeah that's right I'm saying it, Brandon Jacobs is this years LaDanian Tomlinson. Drafted higher than he should because he's 'fantasy dead'. This Mike Williams guy on Tampa Bay is at the flex and having a good season so far despite the fact I have no idea who he is. I guess that's what I get for shunning college football.

And in our game of the week:

#3 Pussies (2-0) vs. #5 Stay Puft (1-1)

So far this season no one has been able to lick the Pussies.
I'll give you a minute to recover from that one.

Dallas QB Tony Romo (playing for the appropriate team in this league) has struggled early on in the season and has had to rely on the supporting cast to keep the team unbeaten considering his real life team is currently very beaten. (And I'm loving it). Runningbacks Ray Rice and Rashard Mendalbaum, (louder) Mendalbaum, (louder) Mendalbaum, (loudest) Mendenhall have also yet to get fully going but have the talent to elevate this team even higher in the standings. Flex player, Pierre Thomas can add extra firepower to the arsenal with the loss of Reggie Bush, although it remains to be seen how Sean Payton will alter the game plan without the guy we once thought should have been drafted ahead of Mario Williams. Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. Anyway, the receivers are the soft underbelly of this beast and may eventually lead to a downfall should Romo and the runningbacks not get in gear soon. But for now the pussies are primed to come out on top.
Everyone's favorite misunderstood movie villain is hoping to... for the sake for small children and the decency of everyone involved I won't continue that thought.
Stay Puft is lead by Houston QB Matt Schaub and his ridiculous passing statistics. Seriously, last week the guy threw for almost 500 yards. Just like in real life he's got plenty of weapons around him, starting with Colts WR Reggie Wayne and emerging NYGiants superstar receiver Hakeem 'the Dream, not Stevie" Nicks. Mike Wallace, usually gets 1 big piece in 60 Minutes (let me know if that one was too subtle) but typically it's the most memorable. At running back is Adrian Peterson, who despite not being a very talented pass catcher can still run the ball better than 99.9% of the league. His backfield mate, Ronnie Brown is currently not injured yet and waiting to face me so that he can put up 5 TDs before leaving in the first quarter of the following week's game with a season ending injury. Cheers to you Ronnie Brown. The Miami Defense doesn't get much press but here's all you need to know in support of my "they're good" claim - 4th and goal from the 1, in a one possession game, they stop Adrian Peterson for the 4th straight time. Maybe that's the secret of Stay Puft's success.

Alright everyone, a belated good luck this season. Remember to stay active, have fun and of course, don't tell the wifey this is why you can't go with her to her mother's on Sunday.

Oh and one more time for those too lazy to click the link:

Wes Welker is THE GREAT WHITE HOPE. (Rich wanna trade him?) O:-)

IcelandAir good, Iceland not so much

On my way back from London I once again flew IcelandAir, to keep costs low. The airline is fantastic, providing great entertainment options and plenty of legroom. The in-flight entertainment system features about 10 movies which you can select to start at your own convenience, as well as several TV shows. I like this a lot better than the DirectTV option in terms of convenience, although, of course it does mean less variety. Fortunately for me both times I've flown on IcelandAir the selection has been great. On my flight from Heathrow to Keflavik International, I watched the Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel (I'm not proud of it, but I was curious to see what songs they would use/the treatment of the Chipettes, etc. since I was a fan of the cartoon back in the day) and the pilot episode of Glee (because I wanted to see what all the hype was about). That basically kept me occupied during the 3 hour flight.

Then I landed in Iceland, at Keflavik International airport, which, the in-flight entertainment system informed me won best airport in Europe in 2008. Just like the claim that Portland's airport made about winning such an award, I had to wonder, what jackass is voting in this competition? The airport absolutely sucks.
You exit the gate and immediately are forced onto line for passport inspection. Yeah that's normal, except you'd expect a little bit more room to maneuver. You litterally exit the gate and are on the line. There are 4 or 5 other gates with passengers trying to board a plane and it gets crammed and crowded pretty quickly. Once you make it through that checkpoint you have about zero options other than to proceed through another passport checkpoint in order to get your connecting flight gate. Great. Through that and there was a pair of non-police or customs officials with a little table forcing us to show our passports for inspection again - 10 seconds after the Icelandic border patrol just checked it! Okay that was annoying, but I powered on... to the 1 eatery I had access to in the entire airport. It's not a restaurant, it's not a fast food counter, it's 2 commercial refigerators with drinks, a case with a couple of shrink wrapped pre-made sandwiches and a small rotating warming tray with some horrible looking dish that was claimed to be pizza. After a fairly expensive and mostly inedible meal I lined up at the gate where my passport and boarding pass were checked again. However this time we couldn't get to the gate, it was up an escalator that was blocked off. So, the entire flight was then cramped into a small room next to an escalator that was roped off. Once it was opened it was a free-for-all to get on the plane. No organization or anything.

Back on the plane and I tuned in to watch 'Date Night' the Tina Fey and Steve Carrell movie. It was alright. I planned on watching 'Little Miss Sunshine', and then wrapping up with 'Die Hard' (great movie for a plane ride. Die Hard 2 of course, is a horrible choice) but exhaustion caught up so I took a nap. I woke up and programmed a 40 song playlist featuring the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Queen and Eric Clapton which, with a few sporadic naps, got me safely to JFK. Flashed my passport a few times, explained I was studying abroad and I was back in the US of A, and it was good to be home.

The hour and a half of traffic to get over the Whitestone Bridge however, was not.

The long road home

It started the other night, when we all hugged Jess goodbye before heading into another bar. She was the first of the 5 to go.

We made it through the weekend and then this morning with one last "Bob Hug" we said goodbye to Julie.

And then there were 3.

I'm leaving Saturday morning, on my way back to the U.S. Back to N.Y. Back to the familiarity of the doctor's office.

They'll be in San Francisco and Stockholm. I'll be at home.

For 3 months we've been about as close as family. We've lived and worked together and had good times and some times that were slightly less fun, thanks to health and just the random issues that pop up in life.
Through it all though we made our way with smiles on our faces and some pretty damn fine advertising for our books.

It was the best of times, it was the greatest of times. It was our tale of this city.

Third Generation Bad Ass

It started with my Grandma Mary. Even at the time I was young I was somewhat aware of her medical struggles. Of course as a child they're all just words and even something like "cancer" doesn't register until many years down the line. For me it was just easy to see by what she ate.
Grandma had her own separate meals from the rest of us. Low in sodium, low in sugar, low in this, low in that. I'm sure just as any child would do I noticed my grandmother's one of a kind meals and wondered why she got something special. Then my mom must have inevitably told me of my grandmother's heart conditions and that her food probably tasted like cardboard, though she would never complain about it.
Which is the point, she never complained or whined and definitely didn't say "FML". She just carried on doing what she needed to do, through breast cancer, heart attacks and anything and everything that was thrown her way. Even on her deathbed she didn't complain, she just smiled and waved goodbye to my grandfather. It's taken me years to come to grips with her passing too early, and maybe I'm still not there yet, but I have come to realize that in the final moments there can be nothing more badass than being able to smile and wave one last time to the person you love.

My mother inherited some of that spirit, though she's never fully been able to realize it for herself. She helped take care of my grandmother on the rare occasions when grandma asked for help (she hated to be a bother to anyone), and since then has done her best to hold the family together, including taking care of my grandfather. From cooking countless holiday meals, to making sure Gramps is warm in the winter or has someone to talk to when he feels alone she's taken a mental and physical beating to get it all done. And it always has been. All of that would be enough to make her a hero but it pales in comparison to what she went through during my parents divorce.
They're both my parents so I'm not going to pick sides - without either of them I don't exist. But it was my mom who went back to school, got her masters, got a job teaching to support us, survived the loss of her mother, the loss of our home, a fire that destroyed our new home, scrapped together enough money to see that my sister and I always had food, shelter and a little extra to spend on the frivolous trinkets of youth so that we never appeared lacking compared to our friends. We both went to college. We both graduated, with honors and we both shed a tear every time our mom second guesses anything she did in raising us. Maybe one day she'll stop and revel in her accomplishments - the two biggest, my sister and I.

All of that brings us to the new generation. The kids who have endured a fairly tumultuous divorce, watched their house burn down during those awkward high school years, and for me, getting diagnosed with a chronic condition at age 17. Since then I've had to deal with biopsies, blood transfusions, vomiting that would make a prom queen proud, drinking more liquid barium than any human should have to endure, constant blood tests, IV treatments, being doubled over in pain for days at a time, and being so sick that your body doesn't want to eat for a week despite the fact that you're withering away to nothing in front of your own eyes. And now they tell me that it's time for surgery they want to cut out 10 inches of my insides. Maybe I should be more concerned than I am, maybe I should get scared or something. Maybe, but I won't. When the doctor told me this prognosis I took a breath and said "okay". Life throws challenges at you. Easy if you can't handle it, tough if you can. So what else was I expecting?
I am the next step in Darwin's evolution. Grandma's silent strength, with Mom's persistence. But I acknowledge it. I revel in it. I stand out and wait for the next challenge. They get progressively harder but I don't care. As weak as my body has been at 104lbs my mind is a 255lb middle linebacker out for blood (i.e. Ray Lewis) or the FTW World Champion, Taz.

I don't do things the easy way. I don't back down. I don't run from a challenge and I sure as hell don't half ass it. I just do it. Whatever it is that's thrown in my way. I do it. I endure.

My name is Bob Tallman, and I'm a 3rd generation bad-ass.
Beat me, if you can.
Survive, if I let you.

The Ultimate Power Ballad?

Perhaps my contribution to the world of advertising, or the the written word in general, will be my style/technique for storytelling using bits of song lyrics (as previously seen here). Who knows if anyone else actually finds it interesting or amusing - the point is I do. I just did another one, this time with the goal of creating a Super Power Ballad.
Of course I had to up the production value now, so I gave it a title, an estimated track length and of course - album art. Enjoy. Or don't. I don't care, I had fun doing it.

Without further ado; assembled from some of the greatest power ballads of all time (using My Music Lists, What is that Song?, Best Power Ballads of All Time, and AOL Radio Blog as references) this latest Dr. Frankenstein creation is designed to tug heart strings and melt faces.


Title: Wanna Know Dream Love
Artist: Various
Time: approximately 6:32
--------------------------------------------

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide

So nobody ever told you baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to you baby
Guess we'll have to wait and see

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true

I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

[Guitar Solo 1]

I know I could have saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

I can't tell ya baby what went wrong
I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago
I'll let it show
I can't give you back what's been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words
I can't let go

I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
I guess I'm not that good anymore
But that's just me

The wind of change
Blows straight into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell
For peace of mind

When I'm tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away

Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is this love, that I've been searching for?
Is this love, or am I dreaming?

[Guitar Solo 2]

When I see you smile
I can face the world

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Right down the line it's been you and me
And loving a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh girl,
You stand by me

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

Does this mean that I'm an international chef?

This past Saturday night my friend Aaron and I cooked dinner for the girls at his place. He handled salad and apps while I prepared the main course. Apparently I had shot my mouth off about cooking lasagna one time too many and Jess called it in, so I was tasked with baking a meat lasagna, with garlic bread, of course.

Unfortunately, I forgot my camera so there will be no "Culinary Adventures" photo album associated with the meal.

I woke up on Saturday morning after a fun and drink filled Friday and spent most of the mid-afternoon purchasing ingredients. It's a fairly minor task in the states because finding ingredients to do your own cook is normal. In London, it's a pain in the ass. I quickly realized why British food gets the rap that it does - they don't even have the proper ingredients to cook something that doesn't suck. Everything is pre-made or in a jar. Like "Burger Sauce". I have no idea what that is, but it's some generic crap in a squeeze tube that you're supposed to want to put on a well cooked piece of meat. No thanks. There is no spice (i.e. flavor) aisle in the supermarket and the theme of the day is always "grab and go" for meals. It's sad really. I know American's are over eaters but part of that is because our food tastes good.

So back to the story. I left for Aaron's missing only a few ingredients: an egg (which I didn't want to try to take on the train), sliced mozzarella (I like the way it cooks more than the shredded variety) and garlic powder (again no spice aisle). I finally gave in an picked up a package of shredded mozzarella on the way. After meeting me at the train station Aaron and I picked up some eggs and by the greatest of fortunes, the small corner store we went to had a bag of garlic powder. So, no armed with all the ingredients we headed for the kitchen.

It was fun putting together the lasagna and the minor difficulties we ran into - ran out of noodles for the top layer so I got creative with the structure, not understanding British oven settings and setting the oven to broil for the first 15 minutes (which resulted in some very nicely melted cheese on top). But we overcame that, set the oven correctly and I whipped up a batch of garlic bread.

We all sat around the table and had a nice meal. It felt good to cook again. Especially when everyone went to for seconds.

The All American Birthday

Now turning 28 isn't the sexiest of birthdays. In fact, it's probably one of the more humdrum or troublesome ones, as you realize your twenties are quickly fleeting and soon you'll be thirty, are still in school, have no job and in no position for marriage or any of that family stuff that your friends are starting to do.

Still with all of that working against me, I was determined to have a good one. Unfortunately, it was a Tuesday, so I still had to go to work. So I put on my new (bad ass) Rolling Stones t-shirt and headed towards the tube.

After I made my usual commute to the office my friends surprised me with breakfast - a handful of mini chocolate muffins and a pair of (delicious) donuts, all with candles. They sang and it was nice, and as previously mentioned, delicious.

Then it was back to work - the perfect remedy for a birthday when you're too old to just get drunk and pass out and too young to hate the thought of getting older and just want to sleep. So we got cracking on our assignments.

At lunch time I made a quick run to Subway for the sub of the day (Tuesday is meatball marinara - and there is no $5 footlong in England. Not even a £5 footlong) and paired it with my birthday present to myself - a can of Mountain Dew, bottled back in the good 'ol US of A with the familiar list of ingredients. Yay America!

After doing a few more hours of work, the group informed me that we had to get going. They had planned my birthday for me and swore to keep it a surprise. Of course after the mega surprise party that Jenn had thrown for me years ago, I've learned to be a little more aware of my surroundings and at least had an idea of what dinner would be like.

It was what I hoped - we went to a place called 'The Big Easy' which is an American themed crabshack and steakhouse. Fantastic. On Tuesdays they also have a great deal, called their deluxe lobster bake. It looks something like this:





That would be a whole Maine lobster, atlantic crab claw, tiger prawns and mussels served with small potatoes and a complimentary Becks. (Not pictured is the incredible belgian waffle ice cream sundae for dessert.) And to make it even more American - when we sat down we noticed an autographed picture of Stevie Wonder, who has eaten there and then they started playing "Kiss" by Prince. It was my own little slice of Americana.

After dinner and dessert I was informed that the party would continue. We hopped on a double decker (and got the front row on the top) and headed towards Picaddilly Circus. There, I was taken to 'Funland' or as I shall refer to it - British Dave and Busters, just without the restaurant. We headed upstairs to the bowling alley and got our bowling on with a few drinks. I was fairly embarrassing, threatening to not break 100 until, when in the 10th frame I finally hit my groove and rolled back to back strikes (the strike dance followed). In the end I had a 106, allowing me to save face.

From there most people headed back home leaving me and Deanna to explore the arcade and play some games. Basically the equivalent of mom and dad going home and leaving the kids alone in a candy store. After waving goodbye to our friends our eyes beemed as we went exploring. The plan was to look around for a while before playing anything, so that we wouldn't waste our time or money on not-worthwhile games.

Of course, within 2 minutes of making this plan we had already started pumping 1 pound coins into Time Crisis 4 to play co-op. It was a lot of fun, and D is a pretty good shot. We finally broke away from the machine and continued looking around. We found bumper cars, but without the rest of the group we took a rain check. More games were played - including the obligatory Sure Shot basketball, some skee-ball, and... a knock-off version of DDR which ended with exhaustion and laughs, mixed with some crushed spirits. Fortunately, digital dancing isn't real dancing just like Guitar Hero isn't playing the guitar.

In the end we cashed in our tickets for 3 bird shaped whistles (one each for D, myself and Julie).
It was the greatest international birthday I ever had, thanks to a great group of Americans.