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So here we are, just at the halfway point of the fantasy season, and on Halloween no less. Let's take a quick look and see the scariest things in the league:
Last week Vicks Vet Service set a new record by amassing 177 points
Mr. Scotts F**KUps have turned it around and won 2 straight
LaDanian Tomlinson looks like a round 1-3 bust
The Saints look pretty much unbeatable
So here we go with this weeks matchups:
Beer Burgers & Blue (5-2) vs. LT Get Outta My Way (1-6)
Triple B's stint at the top of the league was brief, as predicted, and this week it doesn't seem to get any easier. Although it should. Unbeknownst to me somehow, my team's predicted total is only in the high 70s and is actually a few points lower than my non-existent opponent. For a team that just lost the top spot in a week where their lineup was crippled by bye weeks and injuries this sort of prognostication has to worry you, if you were me and I am, in which case it does. Recently acquired WR, Tory Holt brings with him a lot of age, but also a lot of experience and a lot more catches in his life than Bernard Berrian. With the Great White Hope, Wes Welker, on his bye week, the team will look for the new addition to pick up some of the slack. Can a full BBB lineup overcome some weird ESPN math and defeat an opponent that they should have no problems with?
Mr. Scotts F**KUps (2-5) vs. Giant Ten Pins (3-3-1)
The FUps are on the rise, winning 2 straight and putting the league on notice that they won't just roll over (like some other team that wasn't mentioned). However, much of that success has been attributed to WR Randy Moss who is on his bye week this week, along with every single backup on the F**kUPs roster. So you can't really question the lineup they're going with this week - too much. Terrible Terrell Owens will try to step in and lead the receivers, although since this is not 3 years ago, it's unlikely that will happen. QB Eli Manning will need to exercise his demons in Philadelphia and Ahmad Bradshaw will need to show that his injured ankle isn't enough to slow him down. It's likely that the majority of scoring will have to come from the young WRs - Austin Collie and DeVry Henderson as well as the Cardinals defense, if the F**kUPs hope to continue F'ing up the standings.
The Giant Ten Pins are rolling after knocking off the former top seed. They'll again go with what works, in the Matt Ryan/Michael Turner combination, who are likely in for a shoot-out with the Saints on Monday Night Football. Even with a loss, it could mean large quantities of fantasy points for each. RB Lesean McCoy will be stepping in for the injured Brian Westbrook in his customary "have a really good game against the Giants" role, and should provide a decent fantasy score. The names Donald Driver, Miles Austin and Donney Avery don't sound all that scary to opposing teams, but if you look at the trio's stats for the year and then factor in the number of games where Austin and Avery have played and you start to worry. Vernon Davis is coming off a huge game last week and depending on who the 49ers quarterback is, he could have a big day as they're likely to be playing from behind.
NY DAs Office (2-5) vs. AnyGivenSunday (5-2)
First off, Happy Birthday Jay. Now, the DAs Office has dropped 2 in a row but are in a good position to rebound this week as their opponent mourns the loss of Leon Washington. QB Peyton Manning is likely in for a productive afternoon against the 49ers. The DAs Office will hope for total Colts domination, so that RB Joseph Addai gets into the scoring action as well. WRs Steve Smith (of the Giants), Johnny Knox and Mike Sims-Walker are three of the breakout fantasy stars of the year at WR and they've joined forces on the same team to create... a fantasy team that's 3 games under .500. But they can turn it around and will need to with RB Brandon Jacobs in a familiarly tough spot against the Eagles who will blitz constantly to fill gaps and limit the bruising backs running room.
AnyGivenSunday reluctantly dropped fantasy find Leon Washington for the Lions defense of all things, a clear sign of hallucination due to extreme grief. Anyway, Aaron Rodgers will get his re-match with Brett Favre (provided that Lambeau field doesn't swallow up the traitorous QB as he comes out for the opening coin toss) and the Minnesota Vikings. RB Adrian Peterson will likely shoulder a big load of the Vikes offense as the crowd noise is expected to reach decibel levels that will make Favre's old ears bleed, making him unable to call out hot routes and resign to handing off to All Day. APs backfield mate Marion Barber will be running on the Seahawks, and depending on Jason Garrett's play calling he may be running all day, as Seattle can't stop much of anything on defense. The original Steve Smith looks to break out of his funk against the Cardinals while Mario Manningham hopes to fend off the emerging rookie Hakeem Nicks for #2 WR honors. Rookie Michael Crabtree apparently did enough in one week to earn himself a start in week 8 and could be a difference maker.
Dogs and Guns (2-4-1) vs. Wandering Jews (3-4)
It's been a rough go of things lately for last years champion. Much of the teams hope resides in QB Jay Cutler, who this week will face a week Cleveland team he should be able to exploit, with only minimal interceptions. The running game should be solid as Chris Johnson and Ronnie Brown should each get a significant number of carries. Who knows, maybe Brown will throw a few passes too. The WRs are leaning Seattle heavy against a somewhat porous Dallas secondary, with both T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Nate Burleson starting in addition to TE John Carlson. However, if the Cowboys get pressure up front on Hasselbeck, the plan may back fire. Larry Fitzgerald, of course, is a solid play but may find himself with the weight of the team on his shoulders if the Cowboys shut down the high powered Seahawks. Mike, re-read that last part "high powered Seahawks". They're not. Only three teams in football have three or more players you can start on the same fantasy team and hope to win: the Saints, Colts and Patriots.
The Wandering Jews just had their win streak snapped and as the streakest team in the league, are now looking down the tunnel at another 3 game losing streak unless they win this week. QB Joe Flacco is the better matchup play against a tough Denver team than Donvan McNabb against the Giants, considering that loss to the Raiders. RB DeAngelo Williams should have a good matchup against the Cardinals despite what people are saying about how the Cardinals run defense stiffened up at the end of last season. LaDanian Tomlinson is on his last chance as the Chargers face the Raiders, but can't be relied on for production the way he once was. WRs Marques Colston and Brandon Marshall lead a proficient air attack with Cowboys #3 Patrick Crayton bringing up the rear. Colston especially should have a good game on Monday Night as he has separated himself as the guy Drew Brees looks for on every play, before he checks to another receiver. TE Greg Olsen has yet to dazzle in this, the season everyone thought he would emerge, but facing the Browns will make anyone look like the next coming of Mark Bavaro. This matchup will heavily swing the fates of these two teams, and unfortunately, it may come down to the kickers.
In another week, this matchup would have been the game of the week:
Vick's Vet Service (6-1) vs Wide Right (4-3)
The VVS reclaimed the top seed after an impressive victory last weekend. This week they look to hold on to that spot as they face the hottest team in the league. QB Tony Romo will be facing a Seattle team that the Cowboys should be able to run or throw on, depending on their game plan. Still, Romo has this stupid habit of putting up around 30 points per game in order to win a game he shouldn't. RBs MJD and Ricky Williams combine for a brutal combination of backs, capable of large quantities of pointage. WRs Roddy White and Vincent Jackson aren't household names yet, but are fast becoming. Devin Hester is also on the team, and against the Browns could potentially do something. And of course, just in case you get close enough to win, TE Dallas Clark will do just enough to assure his team a victory.
Wide Right looks to keep the hot streak going, but with QB Tom Brady and WR Dwayne Bowe on bye's this week it will be hard. Especially with no suitable replacements on the gameday roster. RBs Steve Slaton and Marshawn Lynch will face off against each other on Sunday, but are playing for the same team in fantasy. Buffalo fan favorite WR Lee Evans looks to exploit a weak Houston secondary along with rookie Percy Harvin who will try to sneak his way through the Packer defense on his way to a non-Lambeau leap. Wide Right is lacking fire power this week and it seems a shame that the winning streak will come to an end in such a manner.
And now, this week's game of the week:
The New Good Ones (4-3) vs The Breakfast Club (4-3)
The New Good Ones face a tough challenge this week, and seem to be perfectly fine going into it a man down. QB Philip Rivers faces the Raiders this week, meaning that he can either throw for 350 yards and 4 TDs, or 150 yards a TD and be on the bench by halftime. Regardless of how long the starting QB plays, the running game will be there all day. RBs Matt Forte and Thomas Jones are locked in to get carries (especially with the injury to Leon Washington). While Jones faces a stiff Dolphin run defense, as mentioned previously the Bears face the Browns, so Matt Forte should be able to put 2 weeks worth of numbers up this week. The receivers are all banged up, but Reggie Wayne, DeSean Jackson and Anquan Boldin are all capable of a getting into the endzone on a single short route even if they are hobbled. TE Visanthe Shiancoe has been a solid scorer all season, and this week a solid contribution from him may be crucial as the New Good Ones play man down.
"Good times, bad times, you know I've had my share" The Breakfast Club finally got back on the winning track and now look across the field at a team that may be their equal. QB Drew Brees should be looking to light up the stage on Monday Night and that could mean big points for the Breakfast Club, as he is capable of 60. The running game isn't impressive sounding, but with Kevin Smith facing the Rams and Darren Sproles taking on the Raiders, they instantly become more dangerous players than they should be. The receivers are a bit thin with Chad Johnson on his bye week, but the news seems good that Andre Johnson will play this week against Buffalo. Sidney Rice has been one of Brett Favre's favorite targets, and with Bernard Berrian injured he could be in line for a few more targets this week. TE Tony Gonzalez has begun to fade from the Falcons offensive plans, but he's still Tony Gonzalez and he can have a big game at any time.
This week the Giants face the Eagles, in Philadelphia. Because of the importance of this game - the G-men having lost 2 straight and the Eagles being from Philly and evil - appropriate measures must be taken. So, for this week only (possibly) I will not only wake up early (which I do to set my final roster each week anyway), but I will throw on laundry day clothes and leave my apartment prior to 5pm, and walk 20 minutes (or however long it takes) to the nearest McDonalds, for breakfast at halftime, in order to reverse the current Giants trend and defeat the evilness of Philadelphia.
Happy Halloween everyone.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Welcome to relevance!
I won my Playstation 3 before my first Christmas working at Google. I didn't even have an LCD TV at the time. Once I got the system though I immediately upgraded my television unit and things were great. Well, the TV was great for playing all of my PS2 and XBox games, watching movies and football. And then later after I built my new computer playing games and watching movies on that. And then when I got my Dreamcast, playing games on that.
Needless to say, the PS3 had been little more than a pretty decoration, a talking point or a trophy of the one time in my life that I've ever won some sort of raffle. It wasn't really much else. I have a pretty large and (I think) awesome collection of DVDs and I'm in no hurry to rebuy them all as Blu-Rays, and there just weren't any "must have" games that I felt I needed to go out and get. So I just kept playing all of my old ones and occasionally checked in on my PS3 by playing a new demo or something. They all looked great but reviews would come out and I'd be underimpressed enough to be able to pass up the $60 price tag. Infamous was the first game that I almost bought. It was interesting, looked nice, the demo was fun and the reviews came back solid. In the end I passed though and instead took up and old Final Fantasy game I hadn't beaten and then Resident Evil: Code Veronica (which reminds me, I really should finish that game).
Then Resident Evil 5 came out. Fortunately from playing the demo I knew there was no chance I was going to own it, even though I really did want to know what happened in the story universe. I spent layover time I had in Terminal 5 at JFK watching all the cutscenes on YouTube and saved myself $60 and a shit-ton of frustration.
Then the demo for Batman: Arkham Asylum was released. It was a game I had been tracking, eagerly anticipating mostly due to my comic/super hero nerd tendencies. I wrote about this game before, how the demo blew me away and I knew I had to own it. I bought it, beat it, have replayed it a bit to unlock more stuff and am glad that I have.
But that was just the beginning. It seems like now, right now, the flood gates are about to crack open and my PS3 will finally ascend to the top level of my entertainment hierarchy. A few weeks ago I played the Uncharted 2 multiplayer beta demo - and I've never played an online multiplayer game EVER. I mostly wrote them off as well... let's say retarded 12 year olds and in-denial frat boys who like the idea of tea bagging each other in games and then awkwardly talking about it like the thought has never gone through their mind.
Anyway, loved the demo and got addicted to all the different types of games. It was then decided that this was my next purchase. Sadly the local game shop down the block had sold out. They next shipment comes in on Wednesday/Thursday and they're putting aside one with my name on it. I even traded in a bunch of old Xbox, PS1 and PS2 games to help me pay.
I figured with Batman and Uncharted I could be content for a nice long while and not get sucked into making the PS3 the focus but then I remembered - Assassins Creed II comes out next month. That game is sick. Then God of War III for the holidays, Final Fantasy XIII (which I'm almost guaranteed to pre-order), Heavy Rain: The Case of the Origami Killer (if you have never heard of it, check out trailers) and a bunch of really good games on here or on their way. And to top it all off, it was officially confirmed that you'll be able to start streaming Netflix to your PS3 next month.
Sonuvabitch. I was hoping to get a little more use out of all of the other things in my life. Guess those new Sony commercials are right, It only does: everything.
Needless to say, the PS3 had been little more than a pretty decoration, a talking point or a trophy of the one time in my life that I've ever won some sort of raffle. It wasn't really much else. I have a pretty large and (I think) awesome collection of DVDs and I'm in no hurry to rebuy them all as Blu-Rays, and there just weren't any "must have" games that I felt I needed to go out and get. So I just kept playing all of my old ones and occasionally checked in on my PS3 by playing a new demo or something. They all looked great but reviews would come out and I'd be underimpressed enough to be able to pass up the $60 price tag. Infamous was the first game that I almost bought. It was interesting, looked nice, the demo was fun and the reviews came back solid. In the end I passed though and instead took up and old Final Fantasy game I hadn't beaten and then Resident Evil: Code Veronica (which reminds me, I really should finish that game).
Then Resident Evil 5 came out. Fortunately from playing the demo I knew there was no chance I was going to own it, even though I really did want to know what happened in the story universe. I spent layover time I had in Terminal 5 at JFK watching all the cutscenes on YouTube and saved myself $60 and a shit-ton of frustration.
Then the demo for Batman: Arkham Asylum was released. It was a game I had been tracking, eagerly anticipating mostly due to my comic/super hero nerd tendencies. I wrote about this game before, how the demo blew me away and I knew I had to own it. I bought it, beat it, have replayed it a bit to unlock more stuff and am glad that I have.
But that was just the beginning. It seems like now, right now, the flood gates are about to crack open and my PS3 will finally ascend to the top level of my entertainment hierarchy. A few weeks ago I played the Uncharted 2 multiplayer beta demo - and I've never played an online multiplayer game EVER. I mostly wrote them off as well... let's say retarded 12 year olds and in-denial frat boys who like the idea of tea bagging each other in games and then awkwardly talking about it like the thought has never gone through their mind.
Anyway, loved the demo and got addicted to all the different types of games. It was then decided that this was my next purchase. Sadly the local game shop down the block had sold out. They next shipment comes in on Wednesday/Thursday and they're putting aside one with my name on it. I even traded in a bunch of old Xbox, PS1 and PS2 games to help me pay.
I figured with Batman and Uncharted I could be content for a nice long while and not get sucked into making the PS3 the focus but then I remembered - Assassins Creed II comes out next month. That game is sick. Then God of War III for the holidays, Final Fantasy XIII (which I'm almost guaranteed to pre-order), Heavy Rain: The Case of the Origami Killer (if you have never heard of it, check out trailers) and a bunch of really good games on here or on their way. And to top it all off, it was officially confirmed that you'll be able to start streaming Netflix to your PS3 next month.
Sonuvabitch. I was hoping to get a little more use out of all of the other things in my life. Guess those new Sony commercials are right, It only does: everything.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Fantasy Football Preview - Week 7
So here we go, we've got an exciting slate of games on the schedule this week, as a new team ranks #1, a new team got a win, and a new team will try to pull off this week's big upset.
As for the games themselves:
The Breakfast Club (3-3) vs. LT Get Outta My Way (1-5)
The Breakfast Club looks to rebound after last week's defeat. While a loss is never a pleasant experience TBC did learn a valuable lesson. Always start Drew Brees. Sure, every once in a while he'll have a bad game (or this year back to back bad games). But more often then not he'll be one of the weeks highest scoring players, and you've just got to give him the shot. This week is a perfect chance to get above .500 while playing the absent cousin. And with no real major losses to the bye week, look for The Breakfast Club to start pulling themselves out of the ditch they're in and climbing back to the top.
Dogs and Guns (2-3-1) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (1-5)
Dogs and Guns had a chance to win last week. They had a chance to lose. Instead they tied and look much less like contenders than they did at season's start. There's been a lot of turnover on this team as they look to find a roster they can run out there week in and week out, with some success. WR TJ Houshmandzadeh is on a bye this week, and that's probably a good thing. He's one of those guys with a big name and then he under performs on a weekly basis (except for a single 2TD week this year) and you're left kicking yourself. You can tell I have him in another league, huh? RB Chris Johnson is also on bye and while he plays for a team that is apparently absolute garbage, he continues to put up the stats you'd expect from your number 1 back, perhaps minus some of the TDs. D&G will need RB Ronnie Brown and WR Larry Fitzgerald to step up in their games if they want to get the taste of tie out of their mouths.
Last week the F**kUps pulled off an upset I'm fairly confident no one could or would have predicted. It was facilitated by a QB shift to Ben Roethisberger, who was playing the Browns, and more so, the fact that Randy Moss put down a game check and bought the Tennessee secondary. What makes it more amazing is that the other 2 WRs combined for 2 points, a stat which will lead to failure in most instances. But the stars were aligned and the Patriots defense held the Titans scoreless, and the F**kUps are out of the cellar. They look to go on one of those "winning streaks" they've heard of, with a slightly improved receiver corp, although worthless Terrible Owens is still there. But with the Pats playing another very bad team, perhaps lightening can strike twice.
NY DAs Office (2-4) vs Wide Right (3-3)
After getting 1.5 points from their running game last week, the DAs Office had to figure they were in for a loss. Brandon Jacobs gets another chance, and if the Giants can manage to keep the Cardinals offense from exploding on them like the Saints did, he should be able to get enough touches to be valuable. His running mate, Joseph Addai is facing the Rams and should have over 100 yards and a score by halftime, where he will then promptly be replaced for the rest of the game, so as not to risk injury. The WRs consist of the NEW Steve Smith (there can be only one!) and a bunch of wavier wire guys. I know they have put up numbers in a few weeks but I'm not ready to start telling people they need to watch out for Johnny Knox and Andre Caldwell. Although Johnny Knox does sound like a hell of a tag team partner. Anyway, the Giants defense will look to redeem itself in the eyes of the home crowd as the DAs Office looks to avoid a two week skid.
Wide Right is flying high thanks to the re-emergence of Tom Brady. This week he'll be showing off for the lords and ladies (and Werewolves) of London. (If you didn't get that song reference, click here, I'll wait). Brady is throwing the ball around secondaries at will and Steve Slaton has found ways to put up points without rushing for 100 yards per week. Combined they've turned this team around and it'll be interesting to see how Marshawn Lynch gets reacquainted with the offense in Buffalo, to see if he can contribute. The WRs remain questionable and with Steve Breaston on the bench, possibly due to injury they're even more of a weakness. However, it'll just take one big play from Percy Harvin or Lee Evans to help elevate this team for another week.
Beer Burgers & Blue (5-1) vs Giant Ten Pins (2-3-1)
Last week Triple B got an unexpected surprise from the F**kUps and found themselves in first place, following a 5 game win streak. However it seems as this will be short lived as super secret fantasy weapon, Ray Rice is on a bye week, exposing some of weak underbelly of the number one team. QB Matt Schaub has been playing phenomenal and will have to continue that this week if he hopes to keep his team at the top. RB Steven Jackson does everything possible except get into the endzone, the curse of being the only guy the other team needs to stop, and top WR Calvin Johnson is nursing an injury on his bye week. However, not one to ever concede a week, BBB went out and picked up WR Lance Moore to plug in with Bernard Berrian and the Great White Hope (Wes Welker) at wide receiver. Pierre Thomas posses a difficult question at running back and may find himself benched for Colts backup Donald Brown - if I truly believe my Joseph Addai scenario.
The Giant Ten Pins walked out of last week's tie feeling good it wasn't a loss, but that's about it. This week they'd love to go from that low feeling to king of the hill by knocking off the current top team. QB Matt Ryan and RB Michael Turner will look to dominate the Cowboys in the air and on the ground, while the receivers who are better than you think look to again quietly kill their opponent. Recently acquired TE Vernon Davis looks to pay dividends quickly as the Houston defense may be slightly distracted by the sight of Michael Crabtree on the field. However, don't be surprised if the team's big scorer this week is the Colts defense, who will be slaughtering the helpless rams. Too biblical? Should they find themselves down though, RB Clinton Portis is the Ten Pins ace in the hole on Monday Night in a game that few people will actually watch. But if the scores are close following Sunday Night, you can bet that both teams will be following him yard for yard - mostly to make sure that the game doesn't end in a tie.
The New Good Ones (3-3) vs Any Given Sunday (5-1)
The Good Ones have hit a recent 2 game slide and they are desperate to get off (of it). QB Philip Rivers should be in for a big game facing the Chiefs this week and his fantasy receivers all have favorable matchups, provided they're healthy. Reggie Wayne, Anquan Boldin and DeSean Jackson could all put up 14 point this week to pair with 9-12 point games for Thomas Jones and Matt Forte. Not to be overlooked, is TE Visianthe Shiancoe, who even against the Steelers is capable of putting up quality points for a tight end. Let's pencil that in at 6 and say Rivers has 23, since I've decided to predict the scores of John's players. He'd have a total of approximately 83 points, not including IDPs, team defense or his kicker. That kind of scoring is just what The New Good Ones will need if they want to get back to where they were 3 weeks ago, as one of the most feared teams in the league.
The Purple Princess has licked her wounds from a humiliating loss two weeks ago (who was that masked man?) and is back on her unicorn, heading for the top. QB Aaron Rodgers faces a Cleveland team that really not much can be said for. 1st round pick Adrian Peterson faces a tough challenge this week against the Steelers, in Pittsburgh and word is that Troy "Nice Hair" Polomalu may be back. My friend Nate, Vikings fan and Minnesota native, has not only picked the Vikings to lose this game but offered the free fantasy advice to bench everyone of your Vikings. You get what you paid for. You don't bench Peterson. It won't be his best game ever, you know that in advance so you make concessions. AnyGivenSunday has inserted Leon Washington into the lineup as the Jets face the hapless Oakland Raiders across the bay. My only hope is that Washington isn't about to score on an 86 yard run or kick-off return when he is suddenly knocked to the ground by the lifeless, Jets jersey clad body of Jason Lazar, who was dumb enough to wear Gang Green in Oakland. The WRs are going to need some work in the upcoming weeks. Right now they feature a used to be, a never was much of anything, and a possibly someday. On the bench is a rookie who just signed and showed up to the team 2 weeks ago, so help isn't readily available. Still you go with what got you where you are I guess.
Which leaves us with the game of the week. Bigger, Longer, and More Offensive!
Vicks Vet Service (5-1) vs Wandering Jews (3-3)
After having a bite taken out of their record last week, McGruff the Crime Dog style, VVS is looking to slaughter their opponent this week like a pitbull who can't keep his guard up. Pretty Boy QB Tony Romo is facing the Falcons at home where fans love him for 3 quarters and then realize that if the game is on the line the should hit the restroom and start the car because this won't end well. Cold filtered MJD is on his bye this week so recently acquired TD vulture in the making Mike Bell will fill the RB spot with fellow 2nd fiddle, Ricky Williams. WRs Roddy White and Vincent Jackson are both eager to face secondaries that aren't known for their ability to cover people and Devin Hester may surprise you against Cincinnati. I mean, they gave up that play to Stokely in week 1, you figure they're due for another hilarious pass play. TE Dallas Clark is back from his bye, giving Vicks Vet Service the last key ingredient for a team you think you can beat on paper, until points start getting filled in on that paper. With the Raven's defense on a bye, VVS looks to the Bills to hold down the fort and hope that they can sustain an onslaught from DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Or else, they may not be the ones doing the slaughtering.
The Wandering Jews have come all the way back from 0-3 to reach the mediocrity mark and they're not satisfied yet. After some finagling they were able to get 3 wins for the price of 2. Now they'd like to take the winnings to Atlantic City and make it big time. With QB Joe Flacco on his bye this week, the Jews have no choice but to use Donovan McNabb, who couldn't have inspired any confidence last week as the Eagles lost to the Raiders. Previously mentioned RB, DeAngelo Williams will look to break through the Bills wagon train defense and deal double trouble damage (scoring for his team and reducing his opponents team defenses' points). LaDanian Tomlinson will try to show that I'm wrong and that he's not on his way to Larry Johnson land, as he faces the Chiefs and Larry Johnson. Not a tough challenge. With WR Brandon Marshall off this week the receivers rely heavily on the Cowboys with Roy Williams and Patrick Crayton. The best that can be said of these guys is that they may cancel out Romo points - that is if Romo wasn't so gay for TE Jason Witten.
As for the games themselves:
The Breakfast Club (3-3) vs. LT Get Outta My Way (1-5)
The Breakfast Club looks to rebound after last week's defeat. While a loss is never a pleasant experience TBC did learn a valuable lesson. Always start Drew Brees. Sure, every once in a while he'll have a bad game (or this year back to back bad games). But more often then not he'll be one of the weeks highest scoring players, and you've just got to give him the shot. This week is a perfect chance to get above .500 while playing the absent cousin. And with no real major losses to the bye week, look for The Breakfast Club to start pulling themselves out of the ditch they're in and climbing back to the top.
Dogs and Guns (2-3-1) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (1-5)
Dogs and Guns had a chance to win last week. They had a chance to lose. Instead they tied and look much less like contenders than they did at season's start. There's been a lot of turnover on this team as they look to find a roster they can run out there week in and week out, with some success. WR TJ Houshmandzadeh is on a bye this week, and that's probably a good thing. He's one of those guys with a big name and then he under performs on a weekly basis (except for a single 2TD week this year) and you're left kicking yourself. You can tell I have him in another league, huh? RB Chris Johnson is also on bye and while he plays for a team that is apparently absolute garbage, he continues to put up the stats you'd expect from your number 1 back, perhaps minus some of the TDs. D&G will need RB Ronnie Brown and WR Larry Fitzgerald to step up in their games if they want to get the taste of tie out of their mouths.
Last week the F**kUps pulled off an upset I'm fairly confident no one could or would have predicted. It was facilitated by a QB shift to Ben Roethisberger, who was playing the Browns, and more so, the fact that Randy Moss put down a game check and bought the Tennessee secondary. What makes it more amazing is that the other 2 WRs combined for 2 points, a stat which will lead to failure in most instances. But the stars were aligned and the Patriots defense held the Titans scoreless, and the F**kUps are out of the cellar. They look to go on one of those "winning streaks" they've heard of, with a slightly improved receiver corp, although worthless Terrible Owens is still there. But with the Pats playing another very bad team, perhaps lightening can strike twice.
NY DAs Office (2-4) vs Wide Right (3-3)
After getting 1.5 points from their running game last week, the DAs Office had to figure they were in for a loss. Brandon Jacobs gets another chance, and if the Giants can manage to keep the Cardinals offense from exploding on them like the Saints did, he should be able to get enough touches to be valuable. His running mate, Joseph Addai is facing the Rams and should have over 100 yards and a score by halftime, where he will then promptly be replaced for the rest of the game, so as not to risk injury. The WRs consist of the NEW Steve Smith (there can be only one!) and a bunch of wavier wire guys. I know they have put up numbers in a few weeks but I'm not ready to start telling people they need to watch out for Johnny Knox and Andre Caldwell. Although Johnny Knox does sound like a hell of a tag team partner. Anyway, the Giants defense will look to redeem itself in the eyes of the home crowd as the DAs Office looks to avoid a two week skid.
Wide Right is flying high thanks to the re-emergence of Tom Brady. This week he'll be showing off for the lords and ladies (and Werewolves) of London. (If you didn't get that song reference, click here, I'll wait). Brady is throwing the ball around secondaries at will and Steve Slaton has found ways to put up points without rushing for 100 yards per week. Combined they've turned this team around and it'll be interesting to see how Marshawn Lynch gets reacquainted with the offense in Buffalo, to see if he can contribute. The WRs remain questionable and with Steve Breaston on the bench, possibly due to injury they're even more of a weakness. However, it'll just take one big play from Percy Harvin or Lee Evans to help elevate this team for another week.
Beer Burgers & Blue (5-1) vs Giant Ten Pins (2-3-1)
Last week Triple B got an unexpected surprise from the F**kUps and found themselves in first place, following a 5 game win streak. However it seems as this will be short lived as super secret fantasy weapon, Ray Rice is on a bye week, exposing some of weak underbelly of the number one team. QB Matt Schaub has been playing phenomenal and will have to continue that this week if he hopes to keep his team at the top. RB Steven Jackson does everything possible except get into the endzone, the curse of being the only guy the other team needs to stop, and top WR Calvin Johnson is nursing an injury on his bye week. However, not one to ever concede a week, BBB went out and picked up WR Lance Moore to plug in with Bernard Berrian and the Great White Hope (Wes Welker) at wide receiver. Pierre Thomas posses a difficult question at running back and may find himself benched for Colts backup Donald Brown - if I truly believe my Joseph Addai scenario.
The Giant Ten Pins walked out of last week's tie feeling good it wasn't a loss, but that's about it. This week they'd love to go from that low feeling to king of the hill by knocking off the current top team. QB Matt Ryan and RB Michael Turner will look to dominate the Cowboys in the air and on the ground, while the receivers who are better than you think look to again quietly kill their opponent. Recently acquired TE Vernon Davis looks to pay dividends quickly as the Houston defense may be slightly distracted by the sight of Michael Crabtree on the field. However, don't be surprised if the team's big scorer this week is the Colts defense, who will be slaughtering the helpless rams. Too biblical? Should they find themselves down though, RB Clinton Portis is the Ten Pins ace in the hole on Monday Night in a game that few people will actually watch. But if the scores are close following Sunday Night, you can bet that both teams will be following him yard for yard - mostly to make sure that the game doesn't end in a tie.
The New Good Ones (3-3) vs Any Given Sunday (5-1)
The Good Ones have hit a recent 2 game slide and they are desperate to get off (of it). QB Philip Rivers should be in for a big game facing the Chiefs this week and his fantasy receivers all have favorable matchups, provided they're healthy. Reggie Wayne, Anquan Boldin and DeSean Jackson could all put up 14 point this week to pair with 9-12 point games for Thomas Jones and Matt Forte. Not to be overlooked, is TE Visianthe Shiancoe, who even against the Steelers is capable of putting up quality points for a tight end. Let's pencil that in at 6 and say Rivers has 23, since I've decided to predict the scores of John's players. He'd have a total of approximately 83 points, not including IDPs, team defense or his kicker. That kind of scoring is just what The New Good Ones will need if they want to get back to where they were 3 weeks ago, as one of the most feared teams in the league.
The Purple Princess has licked her wounds from a humiliating loss two weeks ago (who was that masked man?) and is back on her unicorn, heading for the top. QB Aaron Rodgers faces a Cleveland team that really not much can be said for. 1st round pick Adrian Peterson faces a tough challenge this week against the Steelers, in Pittsburgh and word is that Troy "Nice Hair" Polomalu may be back. My friend Nate, Vikings fan and Minnesota native, has not only picked the Vikings to lose this game but offered the free fantasy advice to bench everyone of your Vikings. You get what you paid for. You don't bench Peterson. It won't be his best game ever, you know that in advance so you make concessions. AnyGivenSunday has inserted Leon Washington into the lineup as the Jets face the hapless Oakland Raiders across the bay. My only hope is that Washington isn't about to score on an 86 yard run or kick-off return when he is suddenly knocked to the ground by the lifeless, Jets jersey clad body of Jason Lazar, who was dumb enough to wear Gang Green in Oakland. The WRs are going to need some work in the upcoming weeks. Right now they feature a used to be, a never was much of anything, and a possibly someday. On the bench is a rookie who just signed and showed up to the team 2 weeks ago, so help isn't readily available. Still you go with what got you where you are I guess.
Which leaves us with the game of the week. Bigger, Longer, and More Offensive!
Vicks Vet Service (5-1) vs Wandering Jews (3-3)
After having a bite taken out of their record last week, McGruff the Crime Dog style, VVS is looking to slaughter their opponent this week like a pitbull who can't keep his guard up. Pretty Boy QB Tony Romo is facing the Falcons at home where fans love him for 3 quarters and then realize that if the game is on the line the should hit the restroom and start the car because this won't end well. Cold filtered MJD is on his bye this week so recently acquired TD vulture in the making Mike Bell will fill the RB spot with fellow 2nd fiddle, Ricky Williams. WRs Roddy White and Vincent Jackson are both eager to face secondaries that aren't known for their ability to cover people and Devin Hester may surprise you against Cincinnati. I mean, they gave up that play to Stokely in week 1, you figure they're due for another hilarious pass play. TE Dallas Clark is back from his bye, giving Vicks Vet Service the last key ingredient for a team you think you can beat on paper, until points start getting filled in on that paper. With the Raven's defense on a bye, VVS looks to the Bills to hold down the fort and hope that they can sustain an onslaught from DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Or else, they may not be the ones doing the slaughtering.
The Wandering Jews have come all the way back from 0-3 to reach the mediocrity mark and they're not satisfied yet. After some finagling they were able to get 3 wins for the price of 2. Now they'd like to take the winnings to Atlantic City and make it big time. With QB Joe Flacco on his bye this week, the Jews have no choice but to use Donovan McNabb, who couldn't have inspired any confidence last week as the Eagles lost to the Raiders. Previously mentioned RB, DeAngelo Williams will look to break through the Bills wagon train defense and deal double trouble damage (scoring for his team and reducing his opponents team defenses' points). LaDanian Tomlinson will try to show that I'm wrong and that he's not on his way to Larry Johnson land, as he faces the Chiefs and Larry Johnson. Not a tough challenge. With WR Brandon Marshall off this week the receivers rely heavily on the Cowboys with Roy Williams and Patrick Crayton. The best that can be said of these guys is that they may cancel out Romo points - that is if Romo wasn't so gay for TE Jason Witten.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Built from the parts of lesser nerds
Full disclosure: I'm laying in bed, under my covers drinking a bottle of chocolate milk as I write this. Probably the most fitting scenario possible.
Now I'm not claiming superiority or anything like that - I worked at Google and even though I could hold my own in some circles, I met and saw some people who were well beyond me. But that's at Google. When lined up against the relative "norm" of the population I score pretty well on nerd and geek, with computers. For the most part I've managed to keep myself out of the Dungeons & Dragons, cosplay, Anime import, etc. groups. To my friends back home I am the nerd they call with technical questions and many are somewhat impressed that I built a computer for my mom for Mother's Day a few years ago - because the idea of building a computer on your own is so foreign, but mostly because doing that for your mom on Mother's Day is just so gosh darn sweet.
So the other day my mom called me because a friend of her's at work needs to get a new computer - and apparently I have "Nerd to Call" status in the PS105 teaching circle, which is actually nice. So I asked my mom the simple questions, what is she looking to do with it, what programs does she need, how much does she want to spend - the basics. Of course, I got the response I was expecting - bare minimums. That's no fun. But I rattled off some tech. specs to look for on the showroom floor, cautioned about particular components to avoid and threw in some opinion on other things. My mom was happy for the assist and passed along that her friend would be thankful as well.
It was nice to do a mitzvah like that, unfortunately they happen too infrequently for me, but it always leaves me with an emptiness in my mouth. I want more, a bare essentials machine has no excitement for me. Sure, I realize that some people don't do all of the things I do, but why not? It's really not that complicated and it so fun.
So since I've last spoken to my mom I've been compulsively checking out sites and articles for parts and ideas. I keep going back to the idea of a Home Theater PC (HTPC), since the machine I currently have is just about 75% there, but I don't really have money for parts. Besides, as much as I love my box and if asked to sell it would demand an exorbitant sum for it just out of sentimental value, I would want to start over from scratch with a new project, a new idea.
As a way to stave off my frustration with not having the financial capabilities to build a new machine, let alone the space, time or necessary power outlets - I've gotten very nostalgic and tried to back track how I got here to this hobby and occasional obsession.
When I was small my family always had a computer in the house. Sometimes more than one. Either my dad saw the future in them, was equally interested (which I'm pretty sure was part of it), or found a way to steal them from his office without ever being detected. Whatever the case was, I saw them go from a single 5.25" drive to a pair, to a 5.25" and a 3.5" to just two 3.5" disks to installing my first CD-ROM drive a year or so after my dad left. I was maybe 11 at the time and while nervous, still pretty confident that I could install this new piece of hardware. Of course I left out tons of stuff, VGA, Super VGA, DOS, Direct Access, Windows 3.11 and all of that, because that just starts going down a pretty nerdy path. Games were pretty much the driving influence in my interest in the technology. As games got more complex specs increased and mediums changed. A 3.5" disk holds a lot more memory (1.21MB) than a 5.25" (I think they were 785K) so it was more convenient to install 12 disks for Wordperfect than 25. Haha, we actually did stuff like that back then. With games leading the reasoning I also became aware of other great new technologies. I was on the "internet" in 1988(citation needed) without even knowing it. We had a 12.2k modem hooked up for a while. I watched baseball on the Super VGA monitor a couple of times - one machine had a TV tuner card in it. Speakers, microphones and all of these great things that really had no practical use at the time except for showing off or making your kids go "wow." Like the mouse. That was a mind fuck.
Anyway, at 27 it's fairly obvious now that this is part of my life, though I probably would have told myself "well duh" back in the 80s. I suppose there was a chance that I'd grow out of it or lose interest, but there are too many shiny accessories and that's usually my downfall. So I'd just like to hope that my life continues in such a way that I'll always be in a position to explore and keep up with this. Maybe even build a Home Theater PC for my kid when he asks why all the other kids dad's took them to Best Buy and asked them to pick something out and all he got was a UPS truckload from Newegg.
So if you're reading this and you're looking at your old machine, on it's last legs, running slow and unable to do new things, why not give your friend Bob here a call. You'll get a certified, 1 of a kind machine that you can show off to all your friends, and you'll have an extra happy friend.
Now I'm not claiming superiority or anything like that - I worked at Google and even though I could hold my own in some circles, I met and saw some people who were well beyond me. But that's at Google. When lined up against the relative "norm" of the population I score pretty well on nerd and geek, with computers. For the most part I've managed to keep myself out of the Dungeons & Dragons, cosplay, Anime import, etc. groups. To my friends back home I am the nerd they call with technical questions and many are somewhat impressed that I built a computer for my mom for Mother's Day a few years ago - because the idea of building a computer on your own is so foreign, but mostly because doing that for your mom on Mother's Day is just so gosh darn sweet.
So the other day my mom called me because a friend of her's at work needs to get a new computer - and apparently I have "Nerd to Call" status in the PS105 teaching circle, which is actually nice. So I asked my mom the simple questions, what is she looking to do with it, what programs does she need, how much does she want to spend - the basics. Of course, I got the response I was expecting - bare minimums. That's no fun. But I rattled off some tech. specs to look for on the showroom floor, cautioned about particular components to avoid and threw in some opinion on other things. My mom was happy for the assist and passed along that her friend would be thankful as well.
It was nice to do a mitzvah like that, unfortunately they happen too infrequently for me, but it always leaves me with an emptiness in my mouth. I want more, a bare essentials machine has no excitement for me. Sure, I realize that some people don't do all of the things I do, but why not? It's really not that complicated and it so fun.
So since I've last spoken to my mom I've been compulsively checking out sites and articles for parts and ideas. I keep going back to the idea of a Home Theater PC (HTPC), since the machine I currently have is just about 75% there, but I don't really have money for parts. Besides, as much as I love my box and if asked to sell it would demand an exorbitant sum for it just out of sentimental value, I would want to start over from scratch with a new project, a new idea.
As a way to stave off my frustration with not having the financial capabilities to build a new machine, let alone the space, time or necessary power outlets - I've gotten very nostalgic and tried to back track how I got here to this hobby and occasional obsession.
When I was small my family always had a computer in the house. Sometimes more than one. Either my dad saw the future in them, was equally interested (which I'm pretty sure was part of it), or found a way to steal them from his office without ever being detected. Whatever the case was, I saw them go from a single 5.25" drive to a pair, to a 5.25" and a 3.5" to just two 3.5" disks to installing my first CD-ROM drive a year or so after my dad left. I was maybe 11 at the time and while nervous, still pretty confident that I could install this new piece of hardware. Of course I left out tons of stuff, VGA, Super VGA, DOS, Direct Access, Windows 3.11 and all of that, because that just starts going down a pretty nerdy path. Games were pretty much the driving influence in my interest in the technology. As games got more complex specs increased and mediums changed. A 3.5" disk holds a lot more memory (1.21MB) than a 5.25" (I think they were 785K) so it was more convenient to install 12 disks for Wordperfect than 25. Haha, we actually did stuff like that back then. With games leading the reasoning I also became aware of other great new technologies. I was on the "internet" in 1988(citation needed) without even knowing it. We had a 12.2k modem hooked up for a while. I watched baseball on the Super VGA monitor a couple of times - one machine had a TV tuner card in it. Speakers, microphones and all of these great things that really had no practical use at the time except for showing off or making your kids go "wow." Like the mouse. That was a mind fuck.
Anyway, at 27 it's fairly obvious now that this is part of my life, though I probably would have told myself "well duh" back in the 80s. I suppose there was a chance that I'd grow out of it or lose interest, but there are too many shiny accessories and that's usually my downfall. So I'd just like to hope that my life continues in such a way that I'll always be in a position to explore and keep up with this. Maybe even build a Home Theater PC for my kid when he asks why all the other kids dad's took them to Best Buy and asked them to pick something out and all he got was a UPS truckload from Newegg.
So if you're reading this and you're looking at your old machine, on it's last legs, running slow and unable to do new things, why not give your friend Bob here a call. You'll get a certified, 1 of a kind machine that you can show off to all your friends, and you'll have an extra happy friend.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Fantasy Football Preview - Week 5
Alright, so apologies for skipping over an entire game last week. It's not like it included an undefeated team or anything like that. Oh... it did? And they won again and are now the top seed in the league? Okay then, I'll make sure I at least mention them this week.
As always we'll start from the bottom.
NY DAs Office (1-3) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (0-4)
Last week the DAs office went off, handing out indictments for everything from crimes against fashion to jaywalking, racking up an incredible 165.5 points and completely catching Dogs and Guns off guard. How'd they do it? Another near 40 point performance from Peyton Manning, 23.5 from the Giants Steve Smith, 19.5 from Mike Sims-Walker and 20 from Darren Sharper. At least if you have yet to face the DAs Office you can expect Sharper won't have that kind of game again. This week Peyton is in primetime again, taking on the Titans. Early on this seemed like it would be a bad matchup for him, but the Titans have looked nothing like last year's dominant defense, so expect another 30 plus. The runningback duo of Brandon Jacobs and Willis McGahee should tear up the turf against the Raiders and Bengals respectfully. Well the Bengals respecfully, there's nothing to respect in the Raiders. Big games are once again expected out of Smith and Sims-Walker but it may be TE Jason Witten who has the biggest day against the Chiefs.
Last week the F**kUps outscored 3 teams. None of them were their opponent for the week though and they remain winless. With Mr. Scott in Atlantic City it's unlikely his attention is too far from the roulette table. There are some gapping holes in the roster, RB Reggie Bush (bye), DP Stephen Cooper (bye) and another DP spot completely empty, which may cost the F**kUps the game this week. But Mr. Scott is a gambling man and may have read his chances this week were low and is packing it in to play his monster hand when the odds are more in his favor. Or, he's trying to get rich quick at the tables and completely forgot that Sunday is for things other than the early bird buffet special.
Wide Right (1-3) vs LT Get Outta My Way (1-3)
Wide Right was hampered by bye weeks and low scoring receivers last week, but fortunately RB Steve Slaton finally got it going. This week the team should be on unofficial bye week playing against our absentee owner, but some questionable roster decisions - like playing Larry Johnson in any game after 2005 - have them as the underdog this week. Could it be that LT has lured them into a false sense of security like the tortise did to the hare? Could Wide Right be lying half conscious in a ditch somewhere, unable to set his roster using a mobile phone? Did Kelly find out that he plays Fantasy Football and bar him from participating? Or is it something more diabolical - playing to lose the game, in hopes of a high draft pick next year.
As previously mentioned, no analysis will be done on LT's team.
The Breakfast Club (3-1) vs. Giant Ten Pins (1-3)
Oh how the mighty have fallen... to third place. A week after losing a battle of unbeatens to Any Given Sunday, The Breakfast Club is back with perhaps their hardest challenge yet - Drew Brees on a bye week. Dunt Dunt Duuun. Homer QB pick Seneca Wallace will be filling in this week and hopes to get the team back on track. The aerial attack is as primed as the fighter jets that keep flying over my apartment (fleet week here in SF), with Chad and Andre Johnson (like Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson in that movie they did together). However, the Breakfast Club probably wishes they could play 2 TEs to get both Tony Gonzalez and Vernon Davis into the mix. Davis of course is on the trading block for any team in need of a TE. The passing game may be the only way to score points this week as RB Kevin Smith gets a Steelers defense that neither LT nor Darren Sproles could do anything against, and Julius Jones faces a Jaquars team which stopped Titans RB Chris Johnson last week. Will the Breakfast Club get back to their old ways, or did they just by themselves another week of detention?
The Giant Ten Pins were the other team omitted last week. Not that their contribution has been any less meaningful, it's just that if you lament about not including a 1-3 team it's not as powerful as recognizing that you left out the top team in the league. Anyway, this week the Giant Ten Pins are out to make sure that we all remember their name - FAME. Remember, remember, remember. The Ten Pins have put their faith in the Falcons with QB Matt Ryan, RB Michael Turner and WR Michael Jenkins all playing against San Francisco. If I hadn't screwed it up, I'd be going to this game. That's not the point, the point is, that around the league teams may not realize how legit San Fran is on defense. Led by Patrick Willis stacking 3 starting skill players against the 49ers is an awfully big risk. But if you don't play to win, you're just a loser. And to get back on the winning path and hand the Breakfast Club their 2nd straight loss you've got to go for it. This one is lined up to be close which means it could come down to whoever kicks the last field goal.
The New Good Ones (3-1) vs. Wandering Jews (1-3)
Last week the New Good Ones kept rolling thanks to Philip Rivers, Matt Forte and Nate Washington. This week Rivers and Forte are on byes, and Washington is on the bench. A lot can change week to week. The replacement QB is... well this is interesting, Matt Hasselbeck. But Bob, if The Breakfast Club is starting Seneca Wallace, and the New Good Ones are starting Matt Hasselbeck, what does that mean? It means that both owners better wake up early (Matt earlier since games start at 10am out here) and find out who is actually going to play quarterback for the Seahawks. Either way, this is going to severely fuck over one team. Delicious, isn't it? Assuming Hasselbeck plays, the rest of the lineup looks like this: RBs Thomas Jones and Knowshon Moreno against tough run defenses, WRs Anquan Boldin, Reggie Wayne and DeSean Jackson amassing many many points, and TE Visanthe Shiancoe sneaking in 3-9 points. But without a QB, it almost doesn't matter how well everyone else plays.
The Wandering Jews were tired, and thirsty, desperate for a win as they traversed the sands of loser desert. Last week they got a taste of winning and now they want more. QB Donovan McNabb is set to make his return, pushing young 2nd year star Joe Flacco to the bench. RBs DeAngelo Williams and Glen black Coffee no sugar, no cream - should each get upwards of 20 carries and have their opportunity to rack up points. The WRs were happy to see that Brandon Marshall is back, but can he carry the team with backups Patrick Crayton and Deion Branch? TE Ben Watson is a fill in this week for Jeremy Shockey and so far Denver has done an excellent job of preventing opponents from scoring. Will Tom Brady go to plan triple D in order to make it into the endzone this week? Or will the Jews make a wrong turn at Albuquerque (Bugs Bunny anyone?) and find themselves back in the desert?
Vick's Vet Service (4-0) vs Dogs and Guns (2-2)
Vick's Vet Service currently leads the league, despite not getting much press about it. This week they'll take on last year's champion as they continue to get some respect. QB Tony Romo will visit a great place for ribs - Kansas City. However he won't have #1 (at least on the official depth chart) WR Roy E. Williams which means the focus may be on running the ball, or TE Jason Witten will catch 25 passes for 407 yards and 3 TDs. But with those sorts of questions hanging around the QB, Vick's Vet Service will need a total team effort if they want to stay undefeated. RB MJD will have to be anything but MJDLite this week against the Seahawks. Dolphins RB Ricky Williams is likely to get the ball many times on Sunday, but against the Jets defense it's uncertain how many of those times he'll actually be moving forward. The WRs are the wildcards for this team right now. Roddy White is a stud, but San Francisco has the talented corners to take him out of the gameplan and the ability to bring pressure on QB Matt Ryan. Kevin Walter gets open when teams focus 2 men on Andre Johnson. The Cardinals can't afford to put 2 men on any receiver, so will Walter make an impact or will Johnson take over the game? And finally Sidney Rice was introduced to the world on Monday Night Football last week. Against a weak Rams team will he see balls coming his way, or will the Vikings be comfortable to just had the ball to All Day, all day, for the easy win?
Dogs and Guns was cruising along, looking to repeat when they lost their first game. Not a major roadblock they happen. But last week's loss had to come out of nowhere to force them off the road. Now 2-2 and taking on the #1 team in the league, changes were necessary. Carson Palmer steps in at QB for Jay Cutler, who is on his bye. On paper the offense looks ready for a big week with RBs Chris Johnson, Ronnie Brown and WRs Larry Fitzgerald, T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Santonio Holmes all spotted in the double digits. Even TE John Carlson is projected to get 10 points. But how accurate are those numbers? Last week Chris Johnson was held to 83 yards by a Jaquars team that couldn't stop anyone in the weeks before. And the Colts best defense is Peyton Manning. If he puts up a few quick scores on the Titans, can they really afford to hand off 3 times a series? Ronnie Brown also faces the Jets defense. While he may be able to sneak through a few times by taking direct snaps, without a real QB under center you would have to believe that Rex Ryan has his defense keyed in on Brown. Fitzgerald will get his because Arizona can still put up points and having Anquan Boldin around makes him tough to double, but Houston may pick their poison and decide that Boldin will beat them. Houshmandzadeh has had 1 good game all year. It was last week, but 1 out of 4 isn't something I'd put much faith in. Especially if he's covered by Rashean Matthis. Finally Santonio Holmes. He's become a big target for Ben Roethlisberger this season, but against the Lions, do the Steelers really need him or will Mendenhall just run through Detroit and leave scraps for the receivers? It'll be an intriguing matchup should an undefeated fall or the defending champ drop 3 straight.
And finally, our matchup of the week: Duke/Carolina; Yankees/Red Sox; Army/Navy; Dark Chocolate/ well we both like dark chocolate.. anyway, it's
Beer Burgers and Blue (3-1) vs. Any Given Sunday (4-0)
Every season this matchup gets circled on the calendars long before draft day even happens. It's actually affected which players have been drafted in order to fill bye weeks to make sure there was no let down for this one week. And now it's here. Well sort of. Unfortunately, I've been a bit distracted. Despite talking the big game in the what we know post I've been concerned with my team in the money league, currently sitting at 1-3, in 9th place (uncharted territory for me in Fantasy Football) heading into a match up with the 4-0 first place team. Fortunately, losing money is something I do often and losing to girls is something I do slightly less and that's enough motivation to snap me back to reality. A late breaking injury has forced an unforseen replacement be brought in on the defense but it seems almost irrelevant. The key will be QB Matt Schaub. In 4 games this year he's had 2 good ones and 2 stinkers. Last week's stinker was only overcome by team captain Patrick Willis rallying the troops and he himself putting in a monster performance. This week Schaub will have to be a big boy and do it himself, or the consequences will be dire. After a very productive 1st week as a starter, RB Pierre Thomas is vacationing, moving Ray Rice back into the starting spot. Rice will team with all purpose yards master Steven Jackson, who as ESPN put it - "may never score again". He faces the Vikings and the Williams wall this week. Expectations are low. Of course that means the burden falls on the wide receivers, namely Calvin Johnson, who finally put up big numbers last week. This week his QB may be Daunte Culpepper, a man who made his career by chucking the ball downfield and hoping that his fast, tall receiver would catch it.It's a strategy that may work for BBB. Vikings WR Bernard Berrian finally showed glimpses that he's involved in the offense on Monday Night Football, but against the Rams may not be used much, leaving things riding on...The Great White Hope. Wes Welker is expected to play this week and BBB will need WW to have a GG if they want a W. Denver has been tough, but if Champ Bailey is focused on Randy Moss, who is left to stop the sensational slot receiver? No one, I hope. And Heath Miller makes his return, one week after Todd Heap made his return. With Charles Woodson out the defense will need someone else to step up and provide a defensive TD if they want to overcome the 10 and a half point spread.
Any Given Sunday hasn't lost a game all season. She's sitting in 2nd place and could move up to first if Dogs and Guns helps out a fellow jew. (The Wandering Jews are only out to help themselves.) To be 5-0, on top of the league, and hold a victory of Beer Burgers and Blue would be like being crowned Princess of New York for life with a purple parade through NYs canyon of heroes, only to have Derek Jeter ride up on a unicorn and offer his hand in marriage. If she wins big, she made need a change of underwear. While pretty boy QB Aaron Rodgers is on his bye this week, Sunday will turn to the only starting QB in the league with the same last name. A brilliant strategy considering he plays for possibly the only team where he would be a starting quarterback. But who am I to judge? Because of this, the team will be almost completely turned over to RB Adrian Peterson who just happens to get to slaughter the Rams. Don't be surprised if he scores more than QB Campbell. Backfield mate Marion Barber should find it equally easy running against the Chiefs, although he is coming off an injury - which I will hope he re-aggrivates, on every down. The WRs could be the weak link as they are all hit and miss. Carolina's Steve Smith is a top talented WR, his problem is that his QB is Jake Delhomme. Santanna Moss is as consistent as the number 12 appearing as a winning lottery number - and he's already had 2 straight good games. Mario Manningham can get open, but his catch percentage is lower than the literacy rate in New York City's public schools. Plus, he'll likely have Nnamdi Asomugha covering him on occasion, meaning he won't get open. It's a numbers game though. If those teams keep throwing, Sunday may get lucky. TE Brett Celek has had a fantastic year so far and is well rested coming off a bye week, and gets Donovan McNabb back. That's all I'm going to say about him because he's an Eagle so I obviously hate him. In turn he will be the single reason I lose this week. Or David Akers. Fucking kickers.
That's all for this week. Tons of great games to scoreboard watch. I think the NFL is pretty light on interesting matchups this week, so watch scores update or finish your homework. And if you have a spare minute - propose a trade for Vernon Davis.
As always we'll start from the bottom.
NY DAs Office (1-3) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (0-4)
Last week the DAs office went off, handing out indictments for everything from crimes against fashion to jaywalking, racking up an incredible 165.5 points and completely catching Dogs and Guns off guard. How'd they do it? Another near 40 point performance from Peyton Manning, 23.5 from the Giants Steve Smith, 19.5 from Mike Sims-Walker and 20 from Darren Sharper. At least if you have yet to face the DAs Office you can expect Sharper won't have that kind of game again. This week Peyton is in primetime again, taking on the Titans. Early on this seemed like it would be a bad matchup for him, but the Titans have looked nothing like last year's dominant defense, so expect another 30 plus. The runningback duo of Brandon Jacobs and Willis McGahee should tear up the turf against the Raiders and Bengals respectfully. Well the Bengals respecfully, there's nothing to respect in the Raiders. Big games are once again expected out of Smith and Sims-Walker but it may be TE Jason Witten who has the biggest day against the Chiefs.
Last week the F**kUps outscored 3 teams. None of them were their opponent for the week though and they remain winless. With Mr. Scott in Atlantic City it's unlikely his attention is too far from the roulette table. There are some gapping holes in the roster, RB Reggie Bush (bye), DP Stephen Cooper (bye) and another DP spot completely empty, which may cost the F**kUps the game this week. But Mr. Scott is a gambling man and may have read his chances this week were low and is packing it in to play his monster hand when the odds are more in his favor. Or, he's trying to get rich quick at the tables and completely forgot that Sunday is for things other than the early bird buffet special.
Wide Right (1-3) vs LT Get Outta My Way (1-3)
Wide Right was hampered by bye weeks and low scoring receivers last week, but fortunately RB Steve Slaton finally got it going. This week the team should be on unofficial bye week playing against our absentee owner, but some questionable roster decisions - like playing Larry Johnson in any game after 2005 - have them as the underdog this week. Could it be that LT has lured them into a false sense of security like the tortise did to the hare? Could Wide Right be lying half conscious in a ditch somewhere, unable to set his roster using a mobile phone? Did Kelly find out that he plays Fantasy Football and bar him from participating? Or is it something more diabolical - playing to lose the game, in hopes of a high draft pick next year.
As previously mentioned, no analysis will be done on LT's team.
The Breakfast Club (3-1) vs. Giant Ten Pins (1-3)
Oh how the mighty have fallen... to third place. A week after losing a battle of unbeatens to Any Given Sunday, The Breakfast Club is back with perhaps their hardest challenge yet - Drew Brees on a bye week. Dunt Dunt Duuun. Homer QB pick Seneca Wallace will be filling in this week and hopes to get the team back on track. The aerial attack is as primed as the fighter jets that keep flying over my apartment (fleet week here in SF), with Chad and Andre Johnson (like Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson in that movie they did together). However, the Breakfast Club probably wishes they could play 2 TEs to get both Tony Gonzalez and Vernon Davis into the mix. Davis of course is on the trading block for any team in need of a TE. The passing game may be the only way to score points this week as RB Kevin Smith gets a Steelers defense that neither LT nor Darren Sproles could do anything against, and Julius Jones faces a Jaquars team which stopped Titans RB Chris Johnson last week. Will the Breakfast Club get back to their old ways, or did they just by themselves another week of detention?
The Giant Ten Pins were the other team omitted last week. Not that their contribution has been any less meaningful, it's just that if you lament about not including a 1-3 team it's not as powerful as recognizing that you left out the top team in the league. Anyway, this week the Giant Ten Pins are out to make sure that we all remember their name - FAME. Remember, remember, remember. The Ten Pins have put their faith in the Falcons with QB Matt Ryan, RB Michael Turner and WR Michael Jenkins all playing against San Francisco. If I hadn't screwed it up, I'd be going to this game. That's not the point, the point is, that around the league teams may not realize how legit San Fran is on defense. Led by Patrick Willis stacking 3 starting skill players against the 49ers is an awfully big risk. But if you don't play to win, you're just a loser. And to get back on the winning path and hand the Breakfast Club their 2nd straight loss you've got to go for it. This one is lined up to be close which means it could come down to whoever kicks the last field goal.
The New Good Ones (3-1) vs. Wandering Jews (1-3)
Last week the New Good Ones kept rolling thanks to Philip Rivers, Matt Forte and Nate Washington. This week Rivers and Forte are on byes, and Washington is on the bench. A lot can change week to week. The replacement QB is... well this is interesting, Matt Hasselbeck. But Bob, if The Breakfast Club is starting Seneca Wallace, and the New Good Ones are starting Matt Hasselbeck, what does that mean? It means that both owners better wake up early (Matt earlier since games start at 10am out here) and find out who is actually going to play quarterback for the Seahawks. Either way, this is going to severely fuck over one team. Delicious, isn't it? Assuming Hasselbeck plays, the rest of the lineup looks like this: RBs Thomas Jones and Knowshon Moreno against tough run defenses, WRs Anquan Boldin, Reggie Wayne and DeSean Jackson amassing many many points, and TE Visanthe Shiancoe sneaking in 3-9 points. But without a QB, it almost doesn't matter how well everyone else plays.
The Wandering Jews were tired, and thirsty, desperate for a win as they traversed the sands of loser desert. Last week they got a taste of winning and now they want more. QB Donovan McNabb is set to make his return, pushing young 2nd year star Joe Flacco to the bench. RBs DeAngelo Williams and Glen black Coffee no sugar, no cream - should each get upwards of 20 carries and have their opportunity to rack up points. The WRs were happy to see that Brandon Marshall is back, but can he carry the team with backups Patrick Crayton and Deion Branch? TE Ben Watson is a fill in this week for Jeremy Shockey and so far Denver has done an excellent job of preventing opponents from scoring. Will Tom Brady go to plan triple D in order to make it into the endzone this week? Or will the Jews make a wrong turn at Albuquerque (Bugs Bunny anyone?) and find themselves back in the desert?
Vick's Vet Service (4-0) vs Dogs and Guns (2-2)
Vick's Vet Service currently leads the league, despite not getting much press about it. This week they'll take on last year's champion as they continue to get some respect. QB Tony Romo will visit a great place for ribs - Kansas City. However he won't have #1 (at least on the official depth chart) WR Roy E. Williams which means the focus may be on running the ball, or TE Jason Witten will catch 25 passes for 407 yards and 3 TDs. But with those sorts of questions hanging around the QB, Vick's Vet Service will need a total team effort if they want to stay undefeated. RB MJD will have to be anything but MJDLite this week against the Seahawks. Dolphins RB Ricky Williams is likely to get the ball many times on Sunday, but against the Jets defense it's uncertain how many of those times he'll actually be moving forward. The WRs are the wildcards for this team right now. Roddy White is a stud, but San Francisco has the talented corners to take him out of the gameplan and the ability to bring pressure on QB Matt Ryan. Kevin Walter gets open when teams focus 2 men on Andre Johnson. The Cardinals can't afford to put 2 men on any receiver, so will Walter make an impact or will Johnson take over the game? And finally Sidney Rice was introduced to the world on Monday Night Football last week. Against a weak Rams team will he see balls coming his way, or will the Vikings be comfortable to just had the ball to All Day, all day, for the easy win?
Dogs and Guns was cruising along, looking to repeat when they lost their first game. Not a major roadblock they happen. But last week's loss had to come out of nowhere to force them off the road. Now 2-2 and taking on the #1 team in the league, changes were necessary. Carson Palmer steps in at QB for Jay Cutler, who is on his bye. On paper the offense looks ready for a big week with RBs Chris Johnson, Ronnie Brown and WRs Larry Fitzgerald, T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Santonio Holmes all spotted in the double digits. Even TE John Carlson is projected to get 10 points. But how accurate are those numbers? Last week Chris Johnson was held to 83 yards by a Jaquars team that couldn't stop anyone in the weeks before. And the Colts best defense is Peyton Manning. If he puts up a few quick scores on the Titans, can they really afford to hand off 3 times a series? Ronnie Brown also faces the Jets defense. While he may be able to sneak through a few times by taking direct snaps, without a real QB under center you would have to believe that Rex Ryan has his defense keyed in on Brown. Fitzgerald will get his because Arizona can still put up points and having Anquan Boldin around makes him tough to double, but Houston may pick their poison and decide that Boldin will beat them. Houshmandzadeh has had 1 good game all year. It was last week, but 1 out of 4 isn't something I'd put much faith in. Especially if he's covered by Rashean Matthis. Finally Santonio Holmes. He's become a big target for Ben Roethlisberger this season, but against the Lions, do the Steelers really need him or will Mendenhall just run through Detroit and leave scraps for the receivers? It'll be an intriguing matchup should an undefeated fall or the defending champ drop 3 straight.
And finally, our matchup of the week: Duke/Carolina; Yankees/Red Sox; Army/Navy; Dark Chocolate/ well we both like dark chocolate.. anyway, it's
Beer Burgers and Blue (3-1) vs. Any Given Sunday (4-0)
Every season this matchup gets circled on the calendars long before draft day even happens. It's actually affected which players have been drafted in order to fill bye weeks to make sure there was no let down for this one week. And now it's here. Well sort of. Unfortunately, I've been a bit distracted. Despite talking the big game in the what we know post I've been concerned with my team in the money league, currently sitting at 1-3, in 9th place (uncharted territory for me in Fantasy Football) heading into a match up with the 4-0 first place team. Fortunately, losing money is something I do often and losing to girls is something I do slightly less and that's enough motivation to snap me back to reality. A late breaking injury has forced an unforseen replacement be brought in on the defense but it seems almost irrelevant. The key will be QB Matt Schaub. In 4 games this year he's had 2 good ones and 2 stinkers. Last week's stinker was only overcome by team captain Patrick Willis rallying the troops and he himself putting in a monster performance. This week Schaub will have to be a big boy and do it himself, or the consequences will be dire. After a very productive 1st week as a starter, RB Pierre Thomas is vacationing, moving Ray Rice back into the starting spot. Rice will team with all purpose yards master Steven Jackson, who as ESPN put it - "may never score again". He faces the Vikings and the Williams wall this week. Expectations are low. Of course that means the burden falls on the wide receivers, namely Calvin Johnson, who finally put up big numbers last week. This week his QB may be Daunte Culpepper, a man who made his career by chucking the ball downfield and hoping that his fast, tall receiver would catch it.It's a strategy that may work for BBB. Vikings WR Bernard Berrian finally showed glimpses that he's involved in the offense on Monday Night Football, but against the Rams may not be used much, leaving things riding on...The Great White Hope. Wes Welker is expected to play this week and BBB will need WW to have a GG if they want a W. Denver has been tough, but if Champ Bailey is focused on Randy Moss, who is left to stop the sensational slot receiver? No one, I hope. And Heath Miller makes his return, one week after Todd Heap made his return. With Charles Woodson out the defense will need someone else to step up and provide a defensive TD if they want to overcome the 10 and a half point spread.
Any Given Sunday hasn't lost a game all season. She's sitting in 2nd place and could move up to first if Dogs and Guns helps out a fellow jew. (The Wandering Jews are only out to help themselves.) To be 5-0, on top of the league, and hold a victory of Beer Burgers and Blue would be like being crowned Princess of New York for life with a purple parade through NYs canyon of heroes, only to have Derek Jeter ride up on a unicorn and offer his hand in marriage. If she wins big, she made need a change of underwear. While pretty boy QB Aaron Rodgers is on his bye this week, Sunday will turn to the only starting QB in the league with the same last name. A brilliant strategy considering he plays for possibly the only team where he would be a starting quarterback. But who am I to judge? Because of this, the team will be almost completely turned over to RB Adrian Peterson who just happens to get to slaughter the Rams. Don't be surprised if he scores more than QB Campbell. Backfield mate Marion Barber should find it equally easy running against the Chiefs, although he is coming off an injury - which I will hope he re-aggrivates, on every down. The WRs could be the weak link as they are all hit and miss. Carolina's Steve Smith is a top talented WR, his problem is that his QB is Jake Delhomme. Santanna Moss is as consistent as the number 12 appearing as a winning lottery number - and he's already had 2 straight good games. Mario Manningham can get open, but his catch percentage is lower than the literacy rate in New York City's public schools. Plus, he'll likely have Nnamdi Asomugha covering him on occasion, meaning he won't get open. It's a numbers game though. If those teams keep throwing, Sunday may get lucky. TE Brett Celek has had a fantastic year so far and is well rested coming off a bye week, and gets Donovan McNabb back. That's all I'm going to say about him because he's an Eagle so I obviously hate him. In turn he will be the single reason I lose this week. Or David Akers. Fucking kickers.
That's all for this week. Tons of great games to scoreboard watch. I think the NFL is pretty light on interesting matchups this week, so watch scores update or finish your homework. And if you have a spare minute - propose a trade for Vernon Davis.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Office Wedding
I won't lie, I had been excited for this all week. Sure, The Office is a popular show because it's funny and gives most of us a chance to relate to horrible work situations we've encountered but under all of the layers of outrageousness, ingenious pranks, and witty one-liners they developed a really touching sweet storyline with Jim and Pam.It never seemed forced and it just flowed smoothly, even when they had problems. Pam was engaged to Roy and even though you knew that Jim and Pam should be together, you weren't sure if it was going to happen. Then Jim left they introduced Karen and it seemed like what we all thought would/should/had to happen, wasn't going to. But without making too many crazy leaps of faith or taking unnecessary shortcuts we got to tonight - Jim and Pam's wedding. I think the fact that the relationship was presented in such real, non-tv gimmicky terms that made this as wonderful of a moment as it was. Just a quick check of Facebook and tons of people's status messages were about "attending" Jim and Pam's wedding or commenting about it, like they were invited guests. It's safe to say that the show has always done a good job of making (at least the two of them) relateable characters you could always have a genuine emotion for. Like when Michael got up and explained, in detail, to Pam's 80 year-old grandmother why the cool, young kids don't always use protection during sex - you laughed because it was funny, cringed because it was the "wrong" kind of funny, and even though expecting something like this to happen, felt bad for Jim and Pam.
At the reception dinner Jim's toast (up until he blew the baby secret) was sincere and sweet and what you hoped he would say after being a quiet observer to his and Pam's friendship and finally relationship. It made you feel good that this was happening, rather than that this was just a gimmick/fan-service type episode for ratings. Like I said, their relationship has always felt "real" in a way and so this was just it's natural conclusion. And the twist at the end, with Plan C was a great touch, displaying Jim's forethought, which we've come to expect from him, especially when it comes to things involving Pam (remember his original proposal plan?).
Anyway, to wrap this up, I loved this episode and for whatever reason find myself happier because Jim and Pam are officially married in a fake world that doesn't exist.
And for anyone - like me - who had no idea about what YouTube video they were talking about during the episode, you can watch it here. It truly is fantastic the first time you see it, but you'd hate to copy it. Personally, I'm glad that someone has set the precedent for in-ceremony entrances, because now the one I have planned doesn't seem like such a crazy idea.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Back to the whiteboard
Today marked the start of my 2nd quarter of Ad school, and my also my first living in San Francisco, which meant the following:
- I did not have to wake up 2.5 - 3 hours prior to class starting
- I had enough time to sit down and eat a fairly normal breakfast (Cocco Krispies if you're interested)
- I didn't have to take a train
- I didn't have to take a bus
- I had time to kill and did so by trying (unsuccessfully) to beat the last level of Elite Beat Agents
- After class ended I was home in less than 20 minutes
- I was done with school early enough to go to the bar around the corner from my apartment and get a burger and a beer and watch Monday Night Football
It's only been one day, but this quarter is looking like it'll be a lot more fun than the last one. And that's just because I can get some extra sleep.
- I did not have to wake up 2.5 - 3 hours prior to class starting
- I had enough time to sit down and eat a fairly normal breakfast (Cocco Krispies if you're interested)
- I didn't have to take a train
- I didn't have to take a bus
- I had time to kill and did so by trying (unsuccessfully) to beat the last level of Elite Beat Agents
- After class ended I was home in less than 20 minutes
- I was done with school early enough to go to the bar around the corner from my apartment and get a burger and a beer and watch Monday Night Football
It's only been one day, but this quarter is looking like it'll be a lot more fun than the last one. And that's just because I can get some extra sleep.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Fantasy Football Preview - Week 4
So the bye weeks are here and that's always a fun time to be watching the waiver wire as teams cut their early season losses and part ways with players who are about to break out or see increased playing time because of injury. Or, more often than not, they're destined to rot away in the Free Agent pile, discarded hopes and expectations of break-out seasons or abandoned 1 man bandwagons - I'm looking at you Josh Morgan.
And in addition to all that, it's pretty tight at the top, with 3 undefeateds remaining and that number will decrease by at least one, as Any Given Sunday dances with the Fantasy Football Devil, Brees be his name. As for the other teams, everyone is trying to claw their way up the latter, fix and fine-tune their roster and navigate through the next 6 weeks of byes as best they can. So let's run down this week's games.
The New Good Ones (2-1) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (0-3)
The New Good Ones lived up to their hype last week, knocking the defending champ from the ranks of the unbeaten, using a mostly aerial attack. QB Philip Rivers put in a solid 20 point performance, but it was the near triple 16s put up by the receivers (Reggie Wayne slacked and only scored 15.5) that is the story. Few teams can count on that sort of production from their pass catchers. Against a tough Titans defense RB Thomas Jones was held to minimal points, but if he can get things going, he and 1st round pick Matt Forte combine with the three wide receigos to make a dangerous opponent for anyone. Also to be noted, K Mason Crosby had double digit points. That said, he's still a kicker. This week the Good Ones will need to flip their formula with 2 of the three receigos on byes, and let Thomas Jones (against the Saints) and Matt Forte (against the Lions) do the majority of the scoring.
On the other side, the F**kUps are coming off a heartbreaking loss to LT Get Outta My Way, who last week squeaked by at the very end for a 3.5 point victory. It was a solid effort from the F**KUps but they'll need to replace injured players like WR Domenik Hixon and DP Brian Urlacher with guys who are going to play on Sunday to maximize their points. The team has made strides though, trading away QB Michael Vick (who I hear was a clubhouse cancer) for RB Cedric Benson, presumably to replace the banged up Ahmad Bradshaw, or the "we get it, you're a gimmick" Reggie Bush. While this doesn't address the aforementioned WR and defensive issues, it shows that the team is moving in the proper direction. QB Eli Manning will face a soft secondary in Kansas City tomorrow and looks to continue to put up, impressive and most importantly, consistent, numbers. If Wes Welker of the Patriots is able to play look for WR Randy Moss to become more lethal and the odds of Terrible Terrell Owens not catching a pass for 2 straight games, is really unlikely. Could the F**kUps up-end the upstart New Good Ones? They're probably just 1 guy short at this point.
Wandering Jews (0-3) vs. LT Get Outta My Way (1-2)
It's been a hard high holidays for the Wandering Jews, who have yet to find themselves a home in winsville. While a questionable decisions, the fact remains that playing Heath Evans was not what caused this team to lose last week. Rather than micromanaging blame on a few players who have suffered with their performance, the Jews need to do a team-wide, top-down, look-over to address their issues if they want to avoid being the last winless team. This week the running game gets re-energized with new and old blood - Glen Coffee, filling in for the injured Frank Gore and LaDanian Tomlinson, filling in for the injured LaDanian Tomlinson. WR Brandon Marshal finally showed up last week, which has to have the Jews breathing a sigh of relief. However, knowing that #1 receiver Marques Colston will likely be matched up with the Jets shut-down Derrell Revis can't inspire too much faith. It appears for the most part that the ground game will need to step up.
LT shocked many in the league last week with their late come from behind win despite 5 zeroes on the board. As much as I hate to say it, the kicker played a big role in the win. But that sort of gimmicky luck is over with. This week LT goes into the game with half a squad, BECAUSE HE STILL NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THE LEAGUE. So basically if the Jews lose this week, I'm seriously going to think about making them forfeit the rest of the season.
NY DAs Office (0-3) vs. Dogs and Guns (2-1)
Last week the DAs office put up more points than every team in the league. Every team except the one they were playing. How's that for a hard luck 0-3? This week they're holding nothing back, after the block buster trade for... Michael Vick? My guess it was more about RB Willis McGahee, but I could be wrong. As Peyton Manning is unlikely to duplicate his 40 point performance this week (I said unlikely, not that it won't happen. C'mon, the Seahawks are bad) the rest of the roster will need to pick up the pace. Giants RB Brandon Jacobs swore to the NY press that he'd increase his yards per carry from the 3.4 that it currently is, by the end of the year, or retire. So, uhm, look out Chiefs. Newly acquired and recently mentioned McGahee gets the sometimes confused looking Patriots defense, so the DAs office will have to hope that they're lost when he gets the carry and not Ray Rice. WR Johnny Knox has started to make a name for himself, and that name is Jackass. No, that's Drew Brees. Anyway, Knox has put together impressive back to back games and now get the Lions. It looks like third times the charm.
But hold on their little lady, the defending champ isn't a one L tool, or fool or stool. No sir, he plans on bouncing back this week, and has some prime matchups to do it with. QB Jay Cutler as earlier indicated with all of this talk about da Bears playing the Lions, will of course be playing against, you guessed it, the Lions. Pencil in 28-33 points. RB Chris Johnson, or my fantasy football man-crush, runs over Jacksonville for 15 - 23. 30 if they forget to cover him like the Texans did. And other than that, the matchups don't look that good. Ronnie Brown was always hard to predict because of the wildcat, but now the Dolphins are sans a real QB so will teams just work on stopping the Wildcat? The Colts don't give up passing touchdowns, and this season T.J. HowdoIgetridofyou doesn't catch them. Nate Burleson has had a good season so far, but is far from the guy you want to rely on. Could it be, back to back losses?
Wide Right (1-2) vs Beer Burgers & Blue (2-1)
Last week Wide Right faced the sting of Drew Brees, although with the sting. Still they were defeated despite Tom Brady putting up more acceptable numbers. RB Steve Slaton however is in the Danger Zone, and not the cool Kenny Loggins one. The one where he's about to become a fantasy bust. This week Slaton faces the Raiders in hopes of reclaiming some value and his pride. However, Wide Right will need to replace injured backfield mate Felix Jones who has been declared out for the game. In the past facing someone like the Ravens defense was little more than an inconvenience for Tom Brady. Perhaps his point total would dip slightly. But given the relatively inconsistent performances so far, Wide Right has to be anxiously watching the Brady Bunch's performance to get a fix on his starting QB. TE Kellen Winslow has done relatively little of late, but is expected to be a major contributor this week, and Wide Right will need him.
Last week most things were clicking for BBB, well except for WR Calvin Johnson still not getting into the endzone, WR Wes Welker still being injured, replacement WR Laurent Robinson getting injured and Bernard Berrian being mostly useless. However, decent games from RBs Steven Jackson and Ray Rice were overshadowed by the arc de triumf return of pre-season bandwagon master Pierre Thomas. With Rice falling more and more into a timeshare with Willis McGahee, Thomas assumes his rightful starting position this week alongside Steven Jackson. Matt Schaub has shaken off week 1 and looks to be all of the bargain QB that Beer Burgers & Blue was hoping he would be. If Welker can play this team show it's true form with recently acquired Frenchman Pierre Garcon replacing Bernard Berrian, and putting the band back together TE Todd Heap returns to do what Zach Miller couldn't.
And now, this week's game of the week. It's the battle of the unbeatens...
Any Given Sunday (3-0) vs The Breakfast Club (featuring Drew Brees) (3-0)
Despite being in Texas for the Austin City Limits festival, which people have improperly abbreviated to ACL - the 3 most feared letters in sports - Sunday has been up on her roster. Or at least that will be her first excuse if a loss results. Depending on mood this could reveal itself as a "damn, I should have paid more attention" or "Bob, why didn't you tell me that such and such was hurt" type of response. Or the much more kurt and typically out of nowhere, "whatever, I had the best time at [insert non-fantasy football thing here]. We saw all these awesome bands and were out all night so I didn't have time to check my team. You need to spend less time on your team and get out more." Which generally leaves the recipient scrathing his head in the familiar "what the hell just happened?" pose. Anyway, if Sunday wants to stake claim to the top of the mountain QB Aaron Rodgers and RB Adrian Peterson will have to conquer their common demon - Brett Favre. For the first time ever Rodgers lines up against the man who kept him under thumb, who was so loved in Green Bay that Packer fans actually booed Rodgers while Brett contemplated retirement/playing again. And Peterson has to contend with Favre likely wanting to whip the ball around the field and show off in front of the organization whose heart he literally pulled from their chest (a la Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom) and stomped on with his cleats. Of course, the question of whether or not they can do that makes the supporting cast all that much more crucial. RB Leon Washington does figure to get a decent number of touches as the Jets try to wear down or keep up with the high powered Saints offense. Really it could go either way. WR dartboard Santana Moss is in the lineup a week after having a good game, that usually means a disappointing one this week. TE Antonio Gates becomes a crucial weapon for Sunday as he may be able to roam free against the Steelers with all pro safety Troy "How's my hair?" Polamalu still sidelined.
Meanwhile the Breakfast Club looks to stay unbeaten and heavily favored this week, as Drew Brees tries to rebound from a human performance last week. However, he will get Rex Ryan's Jet's defense who blitzed Tom Brady like he was England in WWII. Will Brees be able to hold out? Or will he crumble like the French? RBs Ryan Grant and Darren Sproles each face tough rushing opponents this week, the Vikings and Steelers leaving things to the WRs. Chad Johnson (I'm officially done with the Ochocinco nonsense), Andre Johnson and Jerricho Cotchery - one of these things, doesn't belong here, now it's time to play our game. It's time to play our game. Cotchery has quickly become one of rookie QB Mark Sanchez's favorite targets and will likely need to pick up some production if the only Raider worth mentioning, Nnamdi Asomaghau (also it's fun to say his name) does his job on Andre Johnson. Recently acquired TE Vernon Davis will have his work cut-out for him, trying to go catch for catch and yard for yard with Gates, but Davis has emerged as the only real passing weapon for QB Shaun Hill, again, thank you Josh Morgan, and with Frank Gore out, Mike Singletary may be thinking about airing it out to the once and future phenomenal freak of the combine.
In the end, this one is going to be fun to watch. With most of the big names going on Monday night, be sure to get some popcorn, turn on the game and keep your laptop nearby as the scores update, and the tears fall.
And in addition to all that, it's pretty tight at the top, with 3 undefeateds remaining and that number will decrease by at least one, as Any Given Sunday dances with the Fantasy Football Devil, Brees be his name. As for the other teams, everyone is trying to claw their way up the latter, fix and fine-tune their roster and navigate through the next 6 weeks of byes as best they can. So let's run down this week's games.
The New Good Ones (2-1) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (0-3)
The New Good Ones lived up to their hype last week, knocking the defending champ from the ranks of the unbeaten, using a mostly aerial attack. QB Philip Rivers put in a solid 20 point performance, but it was the near triple 16s put up by the receivers (Reggie Wayne slacked and only scored 15.5) that is the story. Few teams can count on that sort of production from their pass catchers. Against a tough Titans defense RB Thomas Jones was held to minimal points, but if he can get things going, he and 1st round pick Matt Forte combine with the three wide receigos to make a dangerous opponent for anyone. Also to be noted, K Mason Crosby had double digit points. That said, he's still a kicker. This week the Good Ones will need to flip their formula with 2 of the three receigos on byes, and let Thomas Jones (against the Saints) and Matt Forte (against the Lions) do the majority of the scoring.
On the other side, the F**kUps are coming off a heartbreaking loss to LT Get Outta My Way, who last week squeaked by at the very end for a 3.5 point victory. It was a solid effort from the F**KUps but they'll need to replace injured players like WR Domenik Hixon and DP Brian Urlacher with guys who are going to play on Sunday to maximize their points. The team has made strides though, trading away QB Michael Vick (who I hear was a clubhouse cancer) for RB Cedric Benson, presumably to replace the banged up Ahmad Bradshaw, or the "we get it, you're a gimmick" Reggie Bush. While this doesn't address the aforementioned WR and defensive issues, it shows that the team is moving in the proper direction. QB Eli Manning will face a soft secondary in Kansas City tomorrow and looks to continue to put up, impressive and most importantly, consistent, numbers. If Wes Welker of the Patriots is able to play look for WR Randy Moss to become more lethal and the odds of Terrible Terrell Owens not catching a pass for 2 straight games, is really unlikely. Could the F**kUps up-end the upstart New Good Ones? They're probably just 1 guy short at this point.
Wandering Jews (0-3) vs. LT Get Outta My Way (1-2)
It's been a hard high holidays for the Wandering Jews, who have yet to find themselves a home in winsville. While a questionable decisions, the fact remains that playing Heath Evans was not what caused this team to lose last week. Rather than micromanaging blame on a few players who have suffered with their performance, the Jews need to do a team-wide, top-down, look-over to address their issues if they want to avoid being the last winless team. This week the running game gets re-energized with new and old blood - Glen Coffee, filling in for the injured Frank Gore and LaDanian Tomlinson, filling in for the injured LaDanian Tomlinson. WR Brandon Marshal finally showed up last week, which has to have the Jews breathing a sigh of relief. However, knowing that #1 receiver Marques Colston will likely be matched up with the Jets shut-down Derrell Revis can't inspire too much faith. It appears for the most part that the ground game will need to step up.
LT shocked many in the league last week with their late come from behind win despite 5 zeroes on the board. As much as I hate to say it, the kicker played a big role in the win. But that sort of gimmicky luck is over with. This week LT goes into the game with half a squad, BECAUSE HE STILL NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THE LEAGUE. So basically if the Jews lose this week, I'm seriously going to think about making them forfeit the rest of the season.
NY DAs Office (0-3) vs. Dogs and Guns (2-1)
Last week the DAs office put up more points than every team in the league. Every team except the one they were playing. How's that for a hard luck 0-3? This week they're holding nothing back, after the block buster trade for... Michael Vick? My guess it was more about RB Willis McGahee, but I could be wrong. As Peyton Manning is unlikely to duplicate his 40 point performance this week (I said unlikely, not that it won't happen. C'mon, the Seahawks are bad) the rest of the roster will need to pick up the pace. Giants RB Brandon Jacobs swore to the NY press that he'd increase his yards per carry from the 3.4 that it currently is, by the end of the year, or retire. So, uhm, look out Chiefs. Newly acquired and recently mentioned McGahee gets the sometimes confused looking Patriots defense, so the DAs office will have to hope that they're lost when he gets the carry and not Ray Rice. WR Johnny Knox has started to make a name for himself, and that name is Jackass. No, that's Drew Brees. Anyway, Knox has put together impressive back to back games and now get the Lions. It looks like third times the charm.
But hold on their little lady, the defending champ isn't a one L tool, or fool or stool. No sir, he plans on bouncing back this week, and has some prime matchups to do it with. QB Jay Cutler as earlier indicated with all of this talk about da Bears playing the Lions, will of course be playing against, you guessed it, the Lions. Pencil in 28-33 points. RB Chris Johnson, or my fantasy football man-crush, runs over Jacksonville for 15 - 23. 30 if they forget to cover him like the Texans did. And other than that, the matchups don't look that good. Ronnie Brown was always hard to predict because of the wildcat, but now the Dolphins are sans a real QB so will teams just work on stopping the Wildcat? The Colts don't give up passing touchdowns, and this season T.J. HowdoIgetridofyou doesn't catch them. Nate Burleson has had a good season so far, but is far from the guy you want to rely on. Could it be, back to back losses?
Wide Right (1-2) vs Beer Burgers & Blue (2-1)
Last week Wide Right faced the sting of Drew Brees, although with the sting. Still they were defeated despite Tom Brady putting up more acceptable numbers. RB Steve Slaton however is in the Danger Zone, and not the cool Kenny Loggins one. The one where he's about to become a fantasy bust. This week Slaton faces the Raiders in hopes of reclaiming some value and his pride. However, Wide Right will need to replace injured backfield mate Felix Jones who has been declared out for the game. In the past facing someone like the Ravens defense was little more than an inconvenience for Tom Brady. Perhaps his point total would dip slightly. But given the relatively inconsistent performances so far, Wide Right has to be anxiously watching the Brady Bunch's performance to get a fix on his starting QB. TE Kellen Winslow has done relatively little of late, but is expected to be a major contributor this week, and Wide Right will need him.
Last week most things were clicking for BBB, well except for WR Calvin Johnson still not getting into the endzone, WR Wes Welker still being injured, replacement WR Laurent Robinson getting injured and Bernard Berrian being mostly useless. However, decent games from RBs Steven Jackson and Ray Rice were overshadowed by the arc de triumf return of pre-season bandwagon master Pierre Thomas. With Rice falling more and more into a timeshare with Willis McGahee, Thomas assumes his rightful starting position this week alongside Steven Jackson. Matt Schaub has shaken off week 1 and looks to be all of the bargain QB that Beer Burgers & Blue was hoping he would be. If Welker can play this team show it's true form with recently acquired Frenchman Pierre Garcon replacing Bernard Berrian, and putting the band back together TE Todd Heap returns to do what Zach Miller couldn't.
And now, this week's game of the week. It's the battle of the unbeatens...
Any Given Sunday (3-0) vs The Breakfast Club (featuring Drew Brees) (3-0)
Despite being in Texas for the Austin City Limits festival, which people have improperly abbreviated to ACL - the 3 most feared letters in sports - Sunday has been up on her roster. Or at least that will be her first excuse if a loss results. Depending on mood this could reveal itself as a "damn, I should have paid more attention" or "Bob, why didn't you tell me that such and such was hurt" type of response. Or the much more kurt and typically out of nowhere, "whatever, I had the best time at [insert non-fantasy football thing here]. We saw all these awesome bands and were out all night so I didn't have time to check my team. You need to spend less time on your team and get out more." Which generally leaves the recipient scrathing his head in the familiar "what the hell just happened?" pose. Anyway, if Sunday wants to stake claim to the top of the mountain QB Aaron Rodgers and RB Adrian Peterson will have to conquer their common demon - Brett Favre. For the first time ever Rodgers lines up against the man who kept him under thumb, who was so loved in Green Bay that Packer fans actually booed Rodgers while Brett contemplated retirement/playing again. And Peterson has to contend with Favre likely wanting to whip the ball around the field and show off in front of the organization whose heart he literally pulled from their chest (a la Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom) and stomped on with his cleats. Of course, the question of whether or not they can do that makes the supporting cast all that much more crucial. RB Leon Washington does figure to get a decent number of touches as the Jets try to wear down or keep up with the high powered Saints offense. Really it could go either way. WR dartboard Santana Moss is in the lineup a week after having a good game, that usually means a disappointing one this week. TE Antonio Gates becomes a crucial weapon for Sunday as he may be able to roam free against the Steelers with all pro safety Troy "How's my hair?" Polamalu still sidelined.
Meanwhile the Breakfast Club looks to stay unbeaten and heavily favored this week, as Drew Brees tries to rebound from a human performance last week. However, he will get Rex Ryan's Jet's defense who blitzed Tom Brady like he was England in WWII. Will Brees be able to hold out? Or will he crumble like the French? RBs Ryan Grant and Darren Sproles each face tough rushing opponents this week, the Vikings and Steelers leaving things to the WRs. Chad Johnson (I'm officially done with the Ochocinco nonsense), Andre Johnson and Jerricho Cotchery - one of these things, doesn't belong here, now it's time to play our game. It's time to play our game. Cotchery has quickly become one of rookie QB Mark Sanchez's favorite targets and will likely need to pick up some production if the only Raider worth mentioning, Nnamdi Asomaghau (also it's fun to say his name) does his job on Andre Johnson. Recently acquired TE Vernon Davis will have his work cut-out for him, trying to go catch for catch and yard for yard with Gates, but Davis has emerged as the only real passing weapon for QB Shaun Hill, again, thank you Josh Morgan, and with Frank Gore out, Mike Singletary may be thinking about airing it out to the once and future phenomenal freak of the combine.
In the end, this one is going to be fun to watch. With most of the big names going on Monday night, be sure to get some popcorn, turn on the game and keep your laptop nearby as the scores update, and the tears fall.
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