Fantasy Football Preview - Week 12

Thanksgiving gave us 3 games, of which I only watched one, and it was about as much of a game as the Packers schalacking the Lions. Anyway, with 2 weeks left in the regular season these matchups are pretty important, with every yard, point and injury taking on a more significant meaning.

LT Get Outta My Way (2-9) vs. Vick's Vet Service (8-3)

After Thanksgiving, LT leads 22 to 5, having used 3 roster spots.
This matchup couldn't have come at a better time for Vick's Vet Service, having lost 2 in a row for the first time all season and raising the hopes of teams across the league. However, they find themselves in a hole heading into Sunday. QB Tony Romo and his 29 points are on the bench and will watch David Garrad with interest as he tries to lead the team back and to victory. RB Ricky Williams will surely be the team's focal point this week as he should be able to run roughshot over the Bills and their horrible rushing defense. His backfield mate, Maurice Jones-Drew gets a stauncher test in the 49ers, but as one of the top 5 backs in the NFL should still be able to make a solid contribution.

The Breakfast Club (6-5) vs. Mr. Scott's F**kUps (2-9)

I don't know what kind of speech BigWeen gave the fellas in the team meeting but he's got the ship turned around, and TBC is riding a 2 game winning streak and looks to be playoff contenders again. Thanks to DB Charles Woodson's bountiful Thanksgiving performance they amassed a whopping 50.5 points, while using only 5 roster spots. Still waiting to show off what they can do this holiday weekend is QB Drew Brees, who will have the Monday Night showcase against the Patriots. WRs Chad and Andre Johnson ("no relation" says Andre) both face weak secondaries and plan on reaching the endzone. This team is starting to roll again and that can be very dangerous for everyone else.
The F**kUps gave it a good run, but with Eli Manning (and really the whole Giants team's) poor performance on Thanksgiving, they find themselves with only 20.5 points having used 4 spots. RB Cedric Benson is banged up and may not go, but the same can be said about the rest of the team's running backs, and Cadillac Williams' numbers haven't been all that impressive. There is hope - his name is Randy Moss, but given the large deficit the team is facing it's unlikely that even he can provide a comeback.

Giant Ten Pins (5-5-1) vs. Wide Right (5-6)

The epitome of of mediocrity, the Giant Ten Pins are exactly .500 after 11 games. Impressive in it's own right but they're looking for a more impressive playoff berth. A pair of 16.5 point performances from WRs Donald Drive and Miles Austin have the 10Pins in comfortable position for the moment. RB Jamaal Charles steps in for the injured Micheal Turner this week, and pairs with fellow backup LeSean McCoy. The two backs won't need to set the world afire, just play consistent and put up 6-7 points each and they should be able to ensure their team a victory this week.
Just about every member of Wide Right has an injury indicator letter next to them. The team of the walking wounded isn't going to go down without a fight though, not with QB Tom Brady at the lead. Brady has his eyes set on a shootout with New Orleans' Drew Brees and 40 points is not out of the question. RB Steve Slaton's job remains in limbo, however, now it appears that Kris Brown is gunning for the #1 spot, not Ryan Moats. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Gary Kubiak, the new Mike Shanahan. Dick. WRs Percy Harvin and Steve Breaston will need to come up big in their games (10 points +) if Wide Right is going to have any chance of making the Ten Pins fall.

NY DAs Office (5-6) vs. The New Good Ones (7-4)

The DAs Office is hot, winning 3 straight to keep their names in the playoff mix. However, 3.5 from Brandon Jacobs on Thanksgiving was not something for J Weiner to be thankful for. It also puts the team in a very vulnerable position going up against a top tier opponent. While they currently lead by 7.5 points, they have used an additional roster spot, and an important one - running back. If there is one saving grace for the DAs Office it's the fact that under center they have Peyton Manning, orchestrator of this 3 game winning streak. In a divisional game, against a team who almost beat him at home, look for Manning to set the record straight and put his team on top with a flurry. Additionally, breakout WR Mike Sims-Walker should be able to find some space against the 49ers secondary and may be able to partially make up for Jacobs' shortcomings.
The New Good Ones are looking to solidify their playoff position at this point. QB Philip Rivers has a soft matchup against the Chiefs, however, it's unlikely he'll be able to match Peyton Manning on his own. RB Matt Forte will attempt to get something against the tough Vikings D, but his pass catching abilities out of the backfield give him a better chance than many of the RBs that have come before him. On the other side, Thomas Jones should have a big game against the Panthers as the Jets look to slow down the handing the franchise over to rookie QB Mark Sanchez. As usual, WRs Reggie Wayne and Anquan Boldin form an impressive unit that makes you question how one team could get both guys. With the entire offense left to play, and only a 7.5 point deficit to make up, the New Good Ones look primed to make it 3 straight.

Dogs and Guns (5-5-1) vs. Beer Burgers and Blue (7-4)

It's getting to be desperation time for the defending champs. Last week they fell victim to the Weiner Whack, as The Breakfast Club put up on unconscionable 180+ points. This week they look to dust themselves off against perennial powerhouse BBB. Highly drafted QB Jay Cutler remains on the bench as the team believes that Bengals QB (and likely comeback player of the year) Carson Palmer gives the team the best chance to win. You know who gives them the best chance to win? RB Chris Johnson. I've been able to watch him about 3 times so far this season; he's the best back in the NFL. Faster than anyone, catches the ball better than Adrian Peterson and has the toughness to get the last yard (despite Jeff Fisher using fat ass LenDale White last week and costing me a game in my money league). Seattle backup RB Justin Forsett will do his best to try to replace Ronnie Brown, but Brown was a top 10 back and they aren't replaced easily.
Thanks to the Lions/Packers game, Beer Burgers and Blue has a 36 point lead heading into Sunday's games. QB Matt Schaub has been replaced by Brett Favre after Favre's ridiculous 4 TD performance last week. This week he's at home against a Bears team that no longer scares anyone on defense. RB Steven Jackson is hurt and may not go, a potential problem for BBB as backup Pierre Thomas has started to see his workload decrease in New Orleans and given the likelihood of a shootout with the Patriots may just be on the bench the whole game. If Jackson can't go, the weight will fall on the shoulders of Ray Rice who is having an incredible fantasy season. However, facing the Steelers is tough enough when you don't have extra pressure on you. Help may come from the receivers as Chris Chambers faces the team that cut him, the Chargers, and the Great White Hope Wes Welker should catch up to 20 passes on Monday Night against the Saints.

And now for this week's game of the week:

Any Given Sunday (7-4) vs. Wandering Jews (6-5)

Thanks to a big game from QB Aaron Rodgers, Sunday is out to a big lead. However, the rest of the Thanksgiving guests didn't bring enough for the whole table and the door is left slightly open for someone to come in and ruin all of the fun. Hoping to protect his house, RB Adrian Peterson. One of the most dynamic backs in the league, he's finally teamed with a passing game which means that defenses can't load up the box to stop him. As a result, expect him to put up Peterson like numbers. Rookie WR Michael Crabtree is improving every week and against a beatable Jacksonville team, Sunday hopes that potential translates into points. Inconsistent WR Santana Moss would do well to show up this week as well. Not only because it's good manners, but Sunday could really use his help in getting the poor taste of Mario Manningham's four and a half point turkey day out of her mouth.
The Wandering Jews have tied a season high by winning 3 straight. They're now down 40.5 points and got 0 from one of their WRs. Not a great start, but not one that can't be overcome. QB Donvan McNabb faces a familiar foe in the Redskins, and with help from TE Brent Celek and WR DeSean Jackson could throw for a few TDs. The RBs, DeAngelo Williams and LaDanian Tomlinson each could contribute a TD to the mix and look for Marques Colston in the endzone during the Saints/Pats shootout. So what does that mean? Well, TE Greg Olsen will need to have one of his good games, and not one of his regular games this week. And as well as everyone else plays it will be up to McNabb to contribute at least 20 points to cut into the lead that Aaron Rodgers has given their opponents.

Fantasy Football Preview - Week 11

With only 3 weeks left in the regular season the final push towards the playoffs is underway. Most teams find themselves battling opponents with similar records this week, knowing that a victory now is crucial to making it to the post-season. As with last week, the Thursday game has given some teams an early lead and left others wondering what was the name of that truck they just got hit with (the answer is Ricky Williams).

NY DAs Office (4-6) vs. LT Get Outta My Way (2-8)

Last week the DAs Office proved that with Peyton Manning as your QB, you stand a chance to win every game. This week the need for a 40 point game from Manning seems less necessary as the DAs Office faces the league's absentee owner. While currently on the bottom side of the rankings, a win for the DAs Office gives them a chance to make the playoffs thanks to favorable tie-breakers.

Mr. Scott's F**KUps (2-8) vs. Any Given Sunday (6-4)

The F**KUps are off to a solid start if they hope to tack on another loss to Any Given Sunday's current losing streak, getting 6.5 points from Gibril Wilson. QB Eli Manning is looking to bounce back against the Atlanta Falcons. The running game took a hit late in the week, with RB Reggie Bush being declared inactive for Sunday's game. The F**kUPs will need to make a last minute adjustment to provide Cadillac Williams with some backup. Top WR pick Randy Moss faces his toughest challenge in Jets CB Derel Reivis and may not be able to contribute his usual production. TE Brent Celek will need to step up, as the remaining WRs, Terrell Owens and Devry Henderson can't be counted on for much.
Any Given Sunday was able to get 14.5 points from WR Steve Smith on Thursday night. RB Adrian Peterson will be facing a Seahawks defense that can be run on and looks to expand the lead beyond eight and a half points. QB Aaron Rodgers will need to watch out for Nate Clements in the secondary, but still has enough weapons in his passing game to have a good game against the 49ers. Sunday finds herself in the enviable position of facing a lower-tier team this week while all of the other competitors play to their level or above, making a win this week crucial. Can WRs Mario Manningham and rookie Michael Crabtree provide enough support to help Sunday avoid a 3 game losing streak?

Wandering Jews (5-5) vs. Wide Right (5-5)

The streaking Jews have won their last 2 and are back in the playoff race. Thanks to DeAngelo Williams they currently have an 8.5 to 2 lead, but is it enough? Without a double digit performance the door has been cracked open for Wide Right to take advantage. Despite my previously declaring him finished, RB LaDanian Tomlinson has managed to keep himself fantasy relevant with a solid performance against the Eagles. This week he'll face Denver whose defense appears to be falling apart on itself. Perhaps LT could be the late season difference maker that the Jews needed. If that's not the case, the WRs of Marques Colston and Brandon Marshall are more than capable of picking up the slack. QB Donovan McNabb will get a chance against a Bears defense that no longer seems as fierce as it once did, and should put up a fair amount of points this week.
Wide Right just keeps hanging around. When you have a healthy Tom Brady at QB you can't reasonably be excepted to be out of the playoff hunt this early. RB Steve Slaton remains a question mark after the bye week. Is he the #1 back in Houston, a part-timer, or has he already lost the job and we don't know it yet? Unfortunately, Wide Right will find out when the rest of us do on Sunday. Bills RB Marshawn Lynch is the other running back on the roster and hopes to duplicate the success that Jets RB Thomas Jones had against Jacksonville last week. The WR corps is a bit thin with Steve Breaston being the biggest threat. He will, however, get some help from TE Kellen Winslow who faces the Saints this weekend, as Tampa Bay is likely to be down and throwing. The projections have this as a tight matchup which will come down to the Monday Night game before we know which team will make it to 6-5.

The New Good Ones (5-5) vs. Giant Ten Pins (5-4-1)

The New Good Ones are currently sitting in 3rd place, a spot coveted by their opponent this week. With the bye weeks passed, the New Good Ones feature an impressive roster. At running backs Matt Forte and Thomas Jones are a top notch one, two punch. At receiver Reggie Wayne, Anquan Boldin and DeSean Jackson are possibly the best group assembled in the league, making it hard for the other playoff teams to root NGO because no one wants to face that lineup. QB Philip Rivers is the only "weak" link in the roster, but he's a serviceable QB that puts up decent numbers on a consistent basis and TE Visanthe Shiancoe has emerged as one of the tops at his position. It seems as though if you plan to beat the New Good Ones, you'll have to outscore them on your own, because this lineup is to potent to slip far enough and beat themselves.
The Giant Ten Pins took a big one on the chin last week, and have fallen towards the middle of the pack, holding on for their playoff life. This week they have a tall order ahead of them, but if you're going to make it in the playoffs you have to be able to beat playoff caliber teams. QB Matt Ryan has been struggling of late, but the Giant Ten Pins are sticking with him as he faces that atrocious Giants secondary. With RB Michael Turner doubtful, replacement back LaDell Betts gets the call against Dallas and LeSean McCoy will face off against the Bears. While it's not ideal to face a tough opponent without your top runningback, the Ten Pins will have to make do and get help from WRs Hines Ward, Donald Driver and Miles Austin. TE Vernon Davis had a disappointing week and is looking to regain his prominence as a top tight end this season. His regularly scheduled contribution would be a major help to the Ten Pins as they try to avoid a second straight loss.

A special this week, 2 games of the week. First off, the family duel:

Dogs and Guns (5-4-1) vs. The Breakfast Club (5-5)

D&Gs is surging, with 3 straight wins and is now in command of a playoff spot, thanks in no small part to RB Chris Johnson. QB Jay Cutler has been benched (he was 2nd in the league in INTs last season, so what were you expecting when he went to a team with worse WRs?) for Carson Palmer. Is it a good time to make a move? Well, it's a moot point if Chris Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald continue their crazy scoring. The loss of RB Ronnie Brown slows down D&Gs run but Pittsburgh's Rashard Mendenhall is primed to step in and take up the cause. T.J. Houshmandzadeh is coming off of one of his best games this season. Was it the start of something new or just an anomaly? Also of note is that this week Dogs and Guns will not be featuring an overstacked Seattle roster, as WR Nate Burleson has been replaced by Santonio Holmes, presumably after not catching a single pass last week.
Speaking of last week, The Breakfast Club re-announced it's contender-ship by toppling the #1 Vick's Vet Service. Now this week, TBC takes on the defending champion, and cousin in what's predicted to be a high scoring affair. QB Drew Brees should have a field day facing Tampa Bay and a 50 point game is not out of the question. WRs Chad Johnson and Andre Johnson could be key contributors, although Johnson will have to find a way to shake free from Nnamdi Asomaghau. Last week Sidney Rice amassed over 200 yards receiving, and if he does that again this week it could be over quickly for D&Gs, even though the Breakfast Club is relying on Ryan Grant and Kevin Smith at running back.

And the top 2 teams collide:

Beer Burgers and Blue (6-4) vs. Vick's Vet Service (8-2)

Despite losing last week, BBB is happy to have found a lineup they are comfortable with. Hey, it taking 60 points from Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai in order to lose is nothing to be ashamed of. This week QB Matt Schaub steps back under center to lead this potential playoff powerhouse against the league's top team. RBs Ray Rice and Steven Jackson are on hot streaks and WR Calvin Johnson seems to have finally healed up and gotten his legs underneath him. The Great White Hope, Wes Welker could have a big week as the Jets try to shut down Randy Moss and newly acquired Chris Chambers will submit his audition tape for the role of WR3. Beer Burgers & Blue got a solid 8 points on Thursday night from Jon Beason, but will need as much if not more from the rest of the defensive unit. And a defensive TD from the Packers defense wouldn't hurt either.
Vick's Vet Service suffered only their second loss of the season last week. This week they look to re-establish their dominance by crushing their next closest competitor. VVS already has a 24.5 point lead thanks to an incredible 3 touchdown performance from RB Ricky Williams, who is obviously benefiting from the injury to Ronnie Brown. The other back in that tandem is Maurice Jones-Drew, who easily could have had 3 TDs last week as well. This week the pair may combine for 6 total TDs, 50 points and another L for BBB. Regardless of if the RBs hit 50 the rest of VVS is nothing to sneeze at. WRs Roddy White and Vincent Jackson have favorable matchups and Devin Hester always has the potential to break out that one long scoring play. Just like any great match-up this one won't be decided until the final whistle of the final game. Why spoil the surprise of who is the top team early?

Fantasy Football Preview - Week 10

With the Giants on their bye this week, I am at least guarenteed to not have to spend half the day jumping from video stream to video stream as they get shut down, just to watch a secondary that can't cover a bed with an oversized mattress.

In other news, I avoided the calling of the McRib in Santa Barbara this weekend to bring you this week's preview (so you better be appreciative because good lordy are those things delicious).

So here we go, reverse standings order as always with the game of the week at the end.

LT Get Outta My Way (2-7) vs. The New Good Ones (5-4)

LT currently holds a 20-13 lead after Thursday's Bears vs. 49ers game.
Having used a RB and a DB to build a 7 point lead shouldn't have the New Good Ones shaking in their shoes, with their opponent not actually existing and therefore, not likely to replace out for the season TE Owen Daniels. The one possible problem would be if QB Kurt Warner threw for 5 TDs again this week, but that's something you always have to deal with. The New Good Ones are already out to a good start though with RB Matt Forte putting up 13 points in a losing effort, and doing so on a night when the Bears couldn't run the football at all. That sort of versatility has to make the NGOs happy because if your RB gets shut down, it's awfully hard to come back from. Their other RB, Thomas Jones is coming off a bye week and facing the Jacksonville Jaguars who I've heard are not very good, especially against the run. They are the team that gave up over 200 yards on the ground to Chris Johnson, two weeks ago. Even though Jones isn't Johnson, I doubt that the Jaguars (man that's a lot of Js) will be able to hold him under 100 yards and a score. With WR Anquan Boldin expected to play this week the New Good Ones get their talented receiver corps on the field and could potentially blow this game away with double digit performances from each of the three. The concern will have to be how Philip Rivers plays against the Eagles defense.

Mr. Scott's F**kUps (2-7) vs. Wide Right (4-5)

Oh it seems so long ago that the F**kUps were on a two game roll and looking at becoming contenders. A 2 game slide has put them back into overlookville heading into this week. With Giants QB Eli Manning on his bye week the move to Roethlisberger is both necessary and well timed as he at least has an offense capable of putting up points. A questionable move at RB with Cadillac Willams starting over Cedric Benson this week. Despite playing the Steelers, Benson did have over 100 total yards against the Steel Curtain in their previous matchup and this season has been far and away better than Williams. WRs Randy Moss and DeVry Henderson may need to pick up the slack (as they have all season) for the injured T.O., who, at less than 100% should really be considered as a backup option to Colts WR Austin Collie. Rounding out the starting lineup is injured and not playing TE Chris Cooley and the Patriots defense who face the undefeated Colts, at home. Perhaps an early morning adjust that puts TE Brent Celek and the Arizona defense into the starting lineup is in order.
Wide Right seems content to keep their starters in, no matter what. They have shown total confidence in RB Steve Slaton, although it appears that he may now be locked into a timeshare at running back, and are even planning on starting the 2nd year back on his bye week. I've never been a huge Marshawn Lynch fan, but I would have to suspect that even against the Titans defense, Lynch can put up more than 0 points. QB Tom Brady will take center stage on Sunday Night in the start studded QB battle that is Brady vs. Manning. As great as last season was, I really think it missed this game the way it's going to be played this week. 2 premier QBs flinging the ball all over the field and making defenses look silly. Should be fun. Panthers RB Jonathan Stewart is listed as questionable for the game with an injured Achilles, so he may not play. Then again, starting RB DeAngelo Williams is questionable with a knee injury, so Steward might start. How's that for trying to manage your team? WRs Steve Breaston and Jeremy Maclin are likely to have slack to pick up as Dwayne Bowe will be shadowed by Nnamdi Asomaghu most of the day in Oakland. (I think I'm getting better at spelling that, I really do).

NY DAs Office (3-6) vs. Beer Burgers & Blue (6-3)

The DAs Office is coming off an impressive victory over big brother (not the all-knowing, ever watching government program to keep us in line; his actual brother) last week. The DAs Office will be hoping for a similar high scoring output this weekend as they face the #2 team in the league. QB Peyton Manning looks to shine in primetime against arch rival Tom Brady (seriously though, which one is supposed to be the pretty boy and which one is the edgy rebel? Brady was the rebel before, but c'mon, now he's married to Gisele). WR Johnny Knox turned in a disappointing performance on Thursday night leading to only 2 points to start the week for the DAs office. Fellow receivers Mike Sims-Walker and former BBBer Bernard Berrian will need to compensate if the Office hopes to top 140 points again. RB Joseph Addai has managed to stay healthy this late into the season, something I wasn't expecting, however, in what is sure to be a Colts/Patriots pass fest may not factor in so much. Then again, he did throw a TD a few weeks ago so who knows.
Beer Burgers & Blue snapped a 2 game losing streak and is now looking to reverse field and head for the top of the charts. Brett Favre steps in as QB while Matt Schaub is on his bye week and the ageless gunslinger will be at home against the Detroit Lions. BBBs running game has started to develop nicely with 3 top tier backs now that Steven Jackson has found the endzone this season. This weekend it appears that Jackson and fantasy breakout stud Ray Rice will be in the backfield flanked out to the sides by the returning Calvin Johnson and the Great White Hope, Wes Welker. The search for a #3 WR continues, this week with Robert Meachem auditioning for the role. IDPs Dashon Goldson and Patrick "What you talking about" Willis have already combined for an impressive 17.5 points to give 3Bs the lead, but fantasy is a crazy game and the scores change every minute, so you can be sure that they're putting the pedal to the metal to drive this one home.

Wandering Jews (4-5) vs. Giant Ten Pins (5-3-1)

The Jews stopped their freefall last week with a win and how are looking to continue their streaky ways in the opposite direction. TE Greg Olsen scored them 6.5 points on Thursday night to give them a good start, but it will take the rest of the team to match his performance if they want to make it to Streak: W2. QB Joe Flacco will face the, well pitiful Cleveland Browns. Sorry Matt and Jay if you still have love for your once hometown team, but they are really bad. And I know something about bad teams - I'm a Mets fan. Anyway, Flacco should be able to right his ship against a defense that probably shouldn't scare anyone. However, if Flacco goes wacko and throws and early pick will Baltimore ground him and turn the game over to RB Ray Rice? The RB tandem of DeAngelo Williams and LaDanian Tomlinson has a few problems. 1) Williams is hurt and may not play 2) Tomlinson hasn't scored a TD this season against a team not named the Raiders and 3) 2009 is not 2008. That said, Williams if he plays, is capable of a solid game against the Falcons. The same cannot be said for Tomlinson who faces an Eagles defense likely to swallow him up into fantasy irrelevance for another week. In related news former RB Larry Johnson is out of football. The pressure will be on the receivers this week if the backs can't get it done.
The Giant Ten Pins are currently the hottest team in the league, riding a 3 game win streak. Sitting a mere 2.5 games out of first place they are looking to keep inching their way up the ladder. Despite a disappointing 1.5 point performance from TE Vernon Davis, DP Lance Briggs was able to accumulate 9 points to at least lessen the burden of the remaining players. QB Matt Ryan looks to rebound for several consecutive sub-par weeks, but as always will have RB Michael Turner at his back as they face Carolina this weekend. Banking on Eagles RB Brian Westbrook being hurt and unable to play all game (usually a good bet), RB LeSean McCoy steps in and hopes to help keep the streak alive. WRs Hines Ward, Donald Driver and Miles Austin all have favorable matchups this week and should provide the offense with some nice balance to go along with the running game. The remaining roster players should be able to at least hold onto their current 4 point lead.

Vick's Vet Service (8-1) vs. The Breakfast Club (4-5)

Oh how time changes things and people meet at certain times. Early in the season it was the Breakfast Club who looked like easy favorites to dominate the league, while Vick's Vet Service toiled away in the middle of the rankings. Now, in week 10 VVS finds itself nearly uncontested at the top and the Breakfast Club is looking to regroup. Thanks to WR Devin Hester, VVS currently has a 5.5 point advantage in the matchup. QB Tony Romo will be facing the Green Bay Packers this week, who were lit up by an unknown (as I, I have no idea who he is) QB playing for Tampa Bay. That fact alone should give Vick's Vet Service a reason to smile. But the strength of this team has been the running game, powered by Maurice Jones-Drew and Ricky Williams. These backs have been consistent, high producers - the kind of guys you'd promote in a corporate setting or risk losing to your competitors. Although less in the name department, WRs Roddy White and Vincent Jackson have also been important contributors, matching up with each opponents best WRs, no matter what their names are. And of course there is TE Dallas Clark, who in a Sunday Night Game against the Patriots is almost guaranteed to have a big night.
The Breakfast Club is looking for something to hang their hat on. They have QB Drew Brees. But even though he has come close to single-handedly winning games on his own, he never has. The running game this week is Kevin Smith and Ryan Grant, two backs who haven't really had the rebound seasons they were expected (or hoped) to have. At the receiver spot, Chad Johnson is enjoying a glorious return season, however, Andre Johnson's production has dipped and to make matters worse, he is on his bye this week. Stepping in are Sidney Rice and Bryant Johnson. Rice will have the benefit of facing the Lions while, Johnson is one. TE Tony Gonzalez has all but disappeared from the Falcons passing game and TBC is hoping that he gets back on the same playbook page with Matt Ryan soon and begins to produce. Despite the apparent lack of firepower on their roster, The Breakfast Club does have a secret weapon - the Saints opportunistic defense who this week will face the St. Louis Rams. If they can convert a few turnovers into scores, TBC may be back on their way to the top and leave VVS wondering if things will end the way they started.

And now, this week's Game of the Week:

Dogs and Guns (4-4-1) vs. Any Given Sunday (6-3)

The former champ is storming back with a 2 game win streak and looking to break into the top tier of teams. This week will be a challenge, but that the thing with former champs, they know how to win when they need it most. Despite tossing nearly a half dozen INTs, QB Jay Culter set his team up with 19.5 points, which combined with K Robbie Gould's 8 and DB Charles Tillman's 4.5 to give D&G an even 32 going into Sunday. Of course now only having 12 players left and having used (presumably) their biggest bullet in Cutler, D&G must now rely on the rest of the roster to keep the pace up. RB Chris Johnson is coming off of another big game and will face the Buffalo Bills and their lack of a run defense. Thanks to the wildcat formation and partly to Chad Pennington's injury, Ronnie Brown is guaranteed to touch the ball about 20 times per game. When you put those facts together it almost doesn't matter that D&G also has Larry Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald, however, is the only WR worth mentioning as T.J. Houshmandzadeh has absolutely sucked it up this year. He's killed me several times in my money league and unless the league conspired to kill the deal, I will finally be rid of him tomorrow morning. I say good riddance to you.
Any Given Sunday has to show that she can hang with the big boys. All of her wins, except for one, have come against teams that do not have a winning record at this moment. The three losses? Against teams with winning records. So here lies the conundrum, this weeks opponent has the perfectly balanced record, so on which side will Sunday fall? Rookie WR Michael Crabtree is making progress, scoring 5 points on Thursday night and providing some solid production in the receiver group. However, veterans Steve Smith and Santana Moss will need to do more than that if they want to keep pace with Dogs & Guns. The runningbacks aren't ever really a concern for Sunday with Adrian Peterson and Marion Barber. However, Barber has been dealing with injuries and the Cowboys do have 2 other backs they can put in the mix and take away Barber's carries. Peterson is likely to get the ball all day as the Vikings beat down the Lions. If the Lions can avoid the blowout, Peterson may still be scampering for 5 yards a carry in the 4th quarter, after having amassed 150 yards and 2 scores. QB Aaron Rodgers will look to improve his game as his team faces the Cowboys. The Cowboys have a weak secondary but the Packers haven't exactly been giving Rodgers time to find receivers downfield. If the O-line can hold on just a little longer, Rodgers may be able to make the big plays that give Sunday her first big win.

McRib Road Trip

It's been an exhausting day, let me tell you.

My alarm woke me up at 8am because I was silly ambitious enough to believe that I could take my medication, a shower, eat breakfast, pack, catch the bus and then catch the 9:15 train. At 8:20 I packed it in realizing that wasn't going to happen. Reset the alarm for quarter to 9 and tried again.

This time I was up, showered, packed and had my pop-tart as I was on my way to the bus. The bus dropped me off at the Caltrain station with about 15 minutes to spare so I figured that was enough time to grab a donut and hot chocolate for the almost 80 ride to Sunnyvale (on weekends all trains run local and with Oregon in town to play Stanford they added an extra stop. Oh joy). Anyway I got to Happy Donut and ordered. Unfortunately, there were a few other people and only 1 woman running the counter so it took a bit longer than expected - i.e. I bought my ticket for the 10:15 train about about 10:14 and jumped on seconds before it started to pull away from the station. Great beginning to the trip.

I managed to catch a minimal amount of zzzs on the train, maybe 20 minutes, after I had finished my donut and hot chocolate. They were good, not Dunkin Donuts good, but not something to complain about. When the train finally reached Sunnyvale I jumped off and began the mile walk to my old apartment. Okay fine, it's .9miles according to Google Maps but I have to change sides of the street so I round up. I was relieved when I made it to my car, one because she was still there in one piece and two because it meant that this trip was really ready to begin. I piled my gear in, selected the first CD and promptly headed to 7-11 to get some on the road nurishment. I was really looking forward to a bear claw but they didn't have any, so I grabbed a frosted apple danish and a Revive Vitamin Water. As I explain in the video, it was a bit too early for the Mountain Dew Big Gulp. I wound up barely drinking any of the Vitamin Water as the hot chocolate just sort of kept me full.

Anyway, after packing up the snacks I programed the GPS and hit the road. I reached California's famed Highway 101 at 12:27pm. The GPS told me that I would be riding it for about 247 miles and at the time I thought nothing of it. Unbeknownst to me, that at about 55 miles out, just past Gilroy, 101 is no longer a freeway and just a two lane road. Almost like the Taconic but without the familiarity I was baffled as to how fast I could go, so I just found some cars and kept up with them.

Then the farmland came. The cows, the crops, the John Deere tractors, all of it. Some of the hills and mountains in the distance were really nice, but oh my god was it boring as hell to drive though. This of course, went on for hours. At around 2:30pm I convinced myself to pull over and stretch/get some gas (I was running at half a tank). About 10 minutes and $31 later I was back on the road. Here's where it started to get fun. When I originally set out my GPS said my arrival time would be 4:40pm. Just before I took a break I had gotten it down to 4:32pm. When I jumped back in the car it was suddenly at 4:42pm and I wasn't happy. Still a two lane road, now with some trucks and stuff so speed is anything but constant. I'm probably about 70 miles from the exit I'm supposed to take off of 101 when my GPS informs me that it's low on battery. Just fucking great. I didn't need it to tell me to keep driving 200 miles and countdown for me, but now when I'm going to need actual directions you're going to crap out on me. Brilliant. I really think I bought into the hype of those things too much. I hate it. I think all of your problems can be solved with a paper map, a navigator or an internet capable phone that can display Google Maps.

I'm getting close to the turn-off and the scenery is incredible. I'm in Pismo Beach, I discover after checking a sign or two. Unfortunately it doesn't last for ever and we're back to farm country. Finally get to make the turn-off. Signs are telling me that Santa Barbara is only another 70 miles away - I can't wait. Then I notice that the next turn I need to make is to get onto 101 South (in about 20 miles). That's the exact road I just got off of. Again, California's highway system is retarded. Also, many fewer rest stops, and small road side conveniences than you'd notice. Jersey - 1, California - 0. So I'm heading towards 101 (again) when guess what? You know it. The GPS goes black. So I know the next direction is to get on 101 S and after that I guess aim the car at the water and try not to go through any walls? I manage to get a few quick glimpses as to the next direction before the battery totally dies. This of course requires me to re-turn on the GPS, wait for it to load, accept the warning not to type or input things while driving, and then hit the map button - while driving; 3 times. I manage to wind up on a road and see a sign for a visitors information booth. Bingo I can find information there.

Except that they're charging $3 for parking and I don't know where the hell I am. So I pass it up and start driving down, what I now know, is Castillo St, right near the harbor. It's really pretty and the sun is starting to set. Well I need to find State St to get my McRib or find a place to stay for the night. (Lesson learned, plan this part in advance for all future trips). I pass by a few streets, and see a bunch of small little motels, all with bright red "No Vacancy" signs. Okay, that's a problem I'll tackle later. I finally find State St and start counting the numbers, I"m looking for 1213. I'm at 26. Great. State St. is the main drag, like you see in all of those movies - typical California. The sides are littered with shops, and restaurants, there are pedestrian crossings every half block and stupid traffic lights. Traffic goes at a snails pace. Oh, and there's no streetside parking either. Despite all of that, I finally make it to the 1200 block and spot MckieDs on my left. At the corner I make a right and follow the signs for a parking garage. I park and grab my video camera, I'm gushing with excitement and the need to pee. I exit the parking lot, cross the street and enter. There are signs, signs saying "The McRib is back!" I'm so happy, it's not in vain. As is expected the guy in front of me takes way too long to order. I wrote a pretty funny short piece about that in high school but can't seem to find a backup copy anywhere. When I'm home I'll have to look for the original paper and re-type it, because it was good. Anyway, there's some funny commentary of me on the video whispering behind him how I will kill him if he doesn't hurry up.

When it's finally my turn I excitedly tell the girl "I want the McRib meal!" She asks if I want the large and for no reason I say "yes". I pay for the food and wait for my order number to be called. I get it and sit down, anxiously awaiting to see the treatment of the McRib. It's got it's own special box! It's big, not the little McRib Jr. they tried to pass off during one of the "McRib farewell tours" years back. This thing is big. I open the buns to check - onions, pickles and sauce. We're good. I close the sandwich back up and take a bite.

Delicious. Look, I know it's probably unreasonable to say that a single food item could be worth traveling 300 miles (when I travel 3,000 back to NY it's for several food items), but it sure seemed close. I loved every bite and the possibly two minutes it took to devour. I think I wiped my mouth twice or it would have been less. After enjoying both the meal and the afterglow I returned to the counter and asked what time they closed that night. 10pm was the answer. Great. I'm in good shape. I exited and looked to tackle my next obstacle. Uhm, I have nowhere to sleep. I started walking up State St. to see if I could find some more hotels, motels, Holiday Inns. With the GPS out of commission I was sorta left to hoofing it. I walked up past the 1800 block and found one place with vacancy. It wasn't much of anything and I had set a reservation price at around $50 when I left. When I saw how Santa Barbara was laid out I figured I'd have to raise it, especially being Saturday night, but still didn't want to over pay. The guy said it was $99 for the night. For that crappy place, I couldn't do it. So now I was a bit worried as I walked back to the lighted sections of the town.

Oh yeah, aside, since I was planning on taking pictures of Santa Barbara at sunset. By 6pm it was completely black, like midnight anywhere else. And the streets are pretty poorly lit so there's no pictures of anything. What a bummer.

So as I'm heading back realizing that all the signs I've previously seen said "No Vacancy", don't have a GPS or Internet connection to help me find new places, I'm sorta fucked. Then I decide to do the unthinkable. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I went back to the car and got my laptop and GPS and charger and headed to Starbucks. I waited 10 minutes or so for a table near an outlet to open up and began charging my GPS. Oh yeah, I ordered a small "Signature Hot Chocolate" for $2.95. They called it a "tall" when they gave it to me but the think was anything but. It also wasn't that good. The medium, actual medium, hot chocolate I got at Happy Donuts for $1.64 earlier that morning was far better. Fucking pretentious Starbucks assholes. Then there's the best part. Since when did Starbucks stop giving away free Internet? I'm sure it was a while ago and I didn't get the memo because I never got there, but now I really have no reason to ever again. So my laptop is useless and I'm waiting for my GPS to charge but that only helps if you pick a specific location it can get you there. I needed Google Maps.

I won't say Verizon to the rescue because I was able to use my phone inspite of them, but it was a saving grace. Note to self, upgrade to Android phone as soon as possible so that I can use the internet when I'm in a bind. Anyway, I wrote down the names of some hotels and played some Elite Beat Agents while waiting for the GPS to charge. Still couldn't beat the last level. GPS is charged, the crappy hot chocolate is done and I'm done laughing at everyone at Starbucks so I'm out.

Into the car I program the hotel. Holiday Inn Express sounds good. If I'm going to have to pay more than I wanted, I better get a name I trust. Of course the GPS tells me to go the wrong way on a way one street and then I somehow pass it, which then renders the GPS useless because if you pass the destination it thinks you, I have no idea what the fuck it thinks, but it doesn't show you how to get back there if you miss it. Helpful.

So driving around Santa Barbara is like driving around those little towns on the Jersey Shore. No lights, small signs and one ways going the way you don't want them to go. I wind up lost I think a town or two over. Great. Pick a new hotel so that the GPS is no longer useless. Days Inn. Should be affordable. After some fighting I convince the GPS that I can't drive through a gate onto a private road and we find away around. I reach the Days Inn to find no vacancy. But at least now I know how to get to Castillo, that main strip. I find a place with vacancy and park the car. But rather than go in, I head a few blocks up to show around. Pass another with vacancy to find a third. So I figure I'll work my way backwards. That third place has a 2 queen available for $149. And now I'm realizing I'm screwed again. Head back to place #2 which now suddenly has "No Vacancy". Great. Head back to where I left the car, still don't go in because I decide I'm going to play with fire. I head to State St. A few blocks up I come across a small hotel whose name I recognized from Google Maps. The guy tells me it's $69 a night plus tax. I walk out and head half way up the street to see if I see anything else. At this point it's around quarter after 9 and McDonalds closes at 10. I quickly dart back in and take the room. Then I run back to the car and drive to McDonalds. Stash it on a side street and make my order - 2 McRibs and a medium Sprite.

Side note - this McDonalds was really weird. Aside from having the McRib, all size drinks are $1 and Big Macs are $1.50.

Anyway, I collect my order and run back to the car. Hop in, pull a U-ie and head back to the hotel. Grab all my backs run up to the room and scarf two 2 more McRibs, both delicious. Now I'm exhausted, I've written this to be posted when I get back home and have an Internet connection and I'm going to call it a day/night.

Although I'm not really looking forward to the ride back. Oh well. All in all, I think this will be a great story.